I have literally fretted about this for years. I'm unsure of when the best time to come out to my parents is. Personally I thought I would when I went to college (which I start in august) but now that the time has come I'm terrified. I'm wondering if it would be better to wait until after college when I have a job so if they don't approve I can't be left high and dry financially. They are paying for college and I'll be living at home over the summers so my worst fear is them kicking me out. However, I'm so ready to start my life without hiding and I can't imagine going through college still denying myself the opportunity to date. Opinions?
The time that you come out is completely up to you and you should never feel forced to tell anyone you don't want to know. If you would feel more comfortable waiting until you are out of college to tell your parents, by all means do so. But no matter what you decide to do, make sure that you are doing it for YOU! You also have claimed to come out to a few people. Would you feel comfortable going to these people for support if anything goes wrong when you tell your parents? Having that mediator could really help you if things go downhill.
I felt the same way. My parents paid for my college, but I also waited until I was about to graduate to tell my mom. Nothing bad happened, but it was still terrifying. Do you think they are likely to react badly? Do you have friends who would be likely to take you in? I came out to my Bible study leader first and she offered me a place to stay if my parents freaked. Hoping for the best.
Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets! I wonder, and in light of the quote, if you could prove a bit more background information on your parents. How come you fear that they would kick you out of the house? If you feel that coming out to your parents would not be a good idea, or that they will not be accepting or supportive, you could always start building a stronger support prior to letting them know. It might be worthwhile to check out if your college has a LGBTQ support group, so that you can start drawing on some support. In some ways, joining a support group would allow you to start living your life, being open about yourself.
I'm unsure on how my parents react. My parents seem to have an acceptance rather than hatred of the lgbt community but they have made comments on how they would feel otherwise if it was their own child. They send mixed signals and I know they don't believe in gay marriage but part of me hopes they could change their minds. As for being kicked out, it's just a fear I have with my mother. She basically values women on the quality of the men they date so if I didn't date I might not have value.. ever. The college support group sounds like a great way to start though. Thankyou!
Your Bible study leader is awesome! Glad that she's so accepting. My situation is different - I'm the group's Bible study leader and I'm wondering what the other Bible study leaders will think of me if I come out as trans. I can identify with your feelings of terror - I am still terrified to let anyone know I am trans.
