Well, the title says it. I am indeed introverted. 99% of my friends are this way too. But there is this one friend who is the complete opposite. She's a big party animal. She told me that the reason she didn't really hang out with me during lunch time when we were in high school (this was my last year) is because I sat with...let's just say she thought they were nerds. I don't see them as that. Yeah, we don't do what popular people do and all that stuff. We are against irresponsible drinking, irresponsible sex, and all that stuff that others do to have "a good time" (I'm sure that if done responsibly, you could have a good time I guess). This summer she told me that in college she probably won't hang out with me since I'll make friends with people that she usually doesn't hang out with. I'm not sure she was kidding, it's in her nature to say stuff like that. She says the only reason she hangs out with me is because she doesn't see me as the others. I'm not sure if it's because she means it or we share the same heritage (both from South America). The point is, do you guys think it's still possible to make friends in college even though I'm not like hugely out going? Or even someone for a relationship? I'm sure not all gay guys are super party divas. Are any of you this way too? I really hope someone can give me advice on this. I would really appreciate it.
Disclaimer: I won't be going to college for another year, as I'm only a senior in high school. Now then. For one thing, she's kind of shallow if she's willing to ditch you like that. I'm not saying she's evil or that you should hate her; she's just rather shallow. As for your question, I absolutely believe that you'll be able to make friends in college. Of course it's going to be a little more difficult if you're not outgoing, but it's still certainly possible. You'll just have to work at it more. Be nice to everyone, be self-confident, and try to make yourself very approachable. Think of it this way: be the kind of person with whom you would want to be friends. If you met someone who was good-natured and friendly but shy, you'd still be more likely to want to be friends with that person. So be that person! You can definitely make friends at college (or anywhere else) if you follow my advice. Also, if you feel comfortable with it, increase your friend-making ability by getting out there and putting yourself in situations where you are more likely to meet new people. Be friendly and attempt to make conversation. You can do it! Good luck.
I'm not that outgoing either, but I made plenty of friends in college, some just as introverted, and some extroverted. You just have to go up to people, strike up a conversation, or anything like that and get to know people. It helps if you live in a dorm or nearby fellow students. You don't have to be a party animal or up in anyone's face. Can't really help you with the relationship part, since I didn't really work on that, but from the gay people I did met, some like to party, and others don't. I didn't really see any difference from straight people. This is all from personal experience, and I'm not sure if it would be the same or not for you, but I don't think you should worry about it too much.
First of all college has a way of changing people. I'm now at a point where all I do is study and go to work so every saturday night I party. And I'm talking about the whole beer bong, lets smoke out kind of parties. I was never that kind of guy but thats my only escape. Personally I dont see anything wrong with it as long as you don't loose your morals. Dont go around hooking up with random people especially when not using protection. And if you choose to do any recreational drugs know the dangers. Anyways having said that there are some people that still choose to stay away fromt eh party scenes so you wont be the only one. Every person you meet is a possible friend so don't worry. -Eddy
The great part of college is that you're likely going to start focussing on an area of study that is of particular interest to you. And guess who will be in those classes? Other people with the same interestes. So meeting people that are similar to you in nature and in interests is easier in college than highschool. (That was my experience, anyway.) You are who you are, so don't sweat it. Be sure to do stuff at 'frosh week' (not sure if that's what they call it in the US.) when there are lots of orientation things going on. Meeting people at these events gives is great - because you're all in the same boat! You're all new. And then at least you'll have someone to say hello to or smile at or have lunch with in the first few weeks before you start to make some connections in your classes. Good luck.
well if she ditches you then she was never a great friend. but the gay party thing...idk i only know one other gay girl and she goes to clubs but shes not all..wild and stuff...i think it has more to do with the person not their orientation
I'm not very outgoing at all - although I'm getting better - but I've found that at college there is such a huge selection of people that it is possible to meet like-minded people. Not everyone is out-going, and it is possible to meet others like yourself. The good thing about going to college is that everyone is in the same boat, and wants to make friends - in this way it's easier than transferring to another school when other people have already made friends, for instance. Just remember that - that other people will be as concerned about meeting people and making friends as you are. The hardest part can be the first week or so, when alcohol seems to be everywhere (except you're in the US, so maybe not?) - but I've found that often, the people you hang around with in the first week or so may not be the people you end up being really good friends with. I'm more outgoing now, but I never went out when I first went to college - but I managed to get involved with someone, and to make friends. It is possible, because you will not be the only one like you - plus, sometimes outgoing people do hang around with shyer people - that dynamic can work sometimes. So don't worry, you'll be fine
