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When to introduce my girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Apples01, May 28, 2014.

  1. Apples01

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    Excuse me if this is the wrong board, I'm new here.
    So far I have only came out to my friends(and girlfriend of course), no one in my family knows. I plan on telling my sister that I am gay this weekend but I have a few worries that may keep me from telling her.
    My dad is possibly homophobic, he's acts neutral but he is a former Mormon man. I'm worried if I tell my sister that she may tell him and he could kick me out. It would be a small chance, but if that did happen then I can live with my sister. (My sister is ten years older than me and moved out).
    I'm worried about shocking my sister a bit too much. While I expect her finding out that I'm gay to go very well since she's very care-free about it and has even asked many times if I was gay. I really worry that I may hurt her feelings over the fact that not only had I not told her I was gay sooner but that I have had a girlfriend for over a year who she has never even met as a friend.
    Should I just tell her I'm lesbian and withold the fact I'm in a fairly serious relationship or tell her that too? I won't actually introduce the two for awhile, I think I may wait for one of the two to offer to see each other.
     
  2. BookDragon

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    Welcome to EC.

    I may hurt her feelings over the fact that not only had I not told her I was gay sooner

    I won't lie, there is a chance of this however, most people get over it pretty quickly. There are a million and one reasons you could give here as to why you hadn't told her before, but most people won't need them. It's not something I would worry about too much.

    Personally, I would start just telling her you are gay, see how she takes it and then tell her about your girlfriend if its going well.

    Either way explain to her your worries about your dad, see what she says and go from there :slight_smile:
     
  3. TheUglyBarnacle

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    Welcome to EC!

    I think Ellia has hit the nail on the head with this one.
    If she is upset that you didn't tell her earlier, don't let that make you feel guilty. It is not something that easy to tell people close to you and you have every right to tell her whenever you feel comfortable doing so.
     
  4. EleanorHunter

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    I agree with what's been said. :slight_smile:

    To add on, if your sister gets upset, chances are it's not because you're a lesbian. She might just feel like you didn't trust her enough to tell her. That was basically my mom's reaction; she had been hoping that with a secret so big, I would tell her first. If your sister mentions that, explain to her that you were just scared, considering it's a big part of your life. If all goes well, then be honest and mention that you have a girlfriend. I hope everything goes okay! Keep us posted!