sorry, I know this topic gets repetitive, but... I'm pretty sure now I'm gay, or at least strongly prefer girls to guys (I have had a crush or two on guys, but right now find myself almost exclusively thinking about girls). I have a good friend who is very active in LGBT rights and I even have a hunch she might be bi, though I'm not sure. I saw her a number of times this summer and wanted to discuss the fact I'm questioning with her, but each time, I sort of chickened out or never found the right place to bring it up. Now summer's ending and I'm going to start college in the fall. She'll be a sophomore in another state. We basically don't have time to hang out again before going back to school. I was wondering if there might be a good way to bring this up electronically, or if it's better to wait until I see her in person Winter Break. I just would like for someone to know and I don't feel ready to tell family or friends. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about, I just have no clue how to bring it up. Like would it be totally weird to just send her an e-mail discussing it?
Hi there! I don't think it would be weird if you would talk about your feelings over the e-mail. Actually sometimes starting a conversation over e-mail can be easier. In the e-mail you could write that you had a hard time talking to her about it in person but you feel that it is important that she knows. If you feel that you are ready, give it a try. From what you have written I do think that she will be very accepting and supportive and she will understand how difficult this is for you. Writing her an e-mail might help you to talk to her in person the next time you see her as it might just help to break the ice a bit. Remember that talking about your feelings to others is difficult but with time, and as you become more comfortable with yourself, it will get easier. If you feel ready and if you decide to take that step, coming out to her will allow you to get to know yourself better and it will also allow you to start building a support network (that can consist of friends, EC, family members, and anyone else who you think is important to you), which will help you in your coming out journey. Hope this helps!
it wouldnt be weird to email her, if she supports LGBT's than you already know that she wont take it bad. i would send her a general email first, and wait till she replies - just to see how often she is online, you dont want to send an email saying everything and then waiting for ages and stressing yourself out over nothing. or you could email her and ask her for her msn, or aim, and chat that way... and you know you can always talk to people on here
I think if you would email her that would be a good thing for both of you. Especially you. If it were me you were contacting, I'd be delighted to do whatever I could to help.
I don't think that it would be weird to email her at all. I say this as someone whose preferred method of coming out thus far has been via email . Email is good, because it means that you can say exactly what you want to say, plus - crucially - it gives her time to respond, and you don't get that awkward silence or whatever afterwards. I don't think that it is strange to bring something up by email at all, especially if you don't see each other too often. The hard thing I have found, actually, is managing to talk about it when you actually see each other - there are people I am out to, but when I see them in person, I find it difficult to talk about it all with them in person. The main bonus of coming out in person, rather than email, apart from it being more intimate and having someone there, is in cases where you're not sure of another person's reaction (as in, emails can be forwarded, but conversations can be denied) - but it does not sound as though you will have this problem. There are several people I have delayed sending emails to, who, when I eventually did send the emails, got the most fantastic response back - and when I'm feeling upset or alone, I can go back to these emails and feel supported. Coming out is hard, and coming out in person is even harder I think. Therefore, if you feel able, go for it: it is not weird at all, I don't think. I have only come out to a couple of people in person whilst sober, as it's so hard. It does get easier though. Good luck And I hope that you get a good response
I would have to agree that Email is not a bad way to go. I have come out to a few people over Email. I also agree you should gage how often the Email gets checked. I actaully have one out right now lol. Its been in there Inbox, Unread for about 2 days... and that feels like an eternity. If he doesnt check his mail soon I dont know what I would to. One thing I explicitly asked for was a responce. I can take a bad responce. Or someone not understanding. I asked that he respond and tell me if its too wierd, and he doesnt want to talk about it, and to tell me if he's ok with it. But what I wouldn't want is not having any responce at all. That would make me crazy lol. Well GOOD LUCK...
Personally, if she's a good friend and you can trust her, I'd always try to talk to her in person. If you can work up the courage to talk to her in person, you'll get a better response from her. Don't assume that she's bi, but if she's comfortable with it, feel free to ask her. Email will work, the only problem is you can't read a person's emotions in an email. If you want to tell her, but you can't sum up the courage (I know it can be really difficult), then go ahead an give her an email. Considering her position on LGBT rights, she would be a good person to talk to. I'd say go for it, whichever way you choose.
