Wow, my title was so full of angst. :lol: But anyway, I posted on here a while back, and received some measure of comfort, but new worries keep surfacing and I'm back, needing more advice and reassurance... I started questioning my sexuality when I was 16, when I looked back at my younger years and came to the conclusion that I was attracted to girls. I thought I was bi, but in the past few months I started thinking again and realised that I've never felt desire for a guy in my entire life. I've had boyfriends for boyfriends' sake, I can look at a guy and identify when he is 'cute', but it doesn't mean anything. The feelings I have for girls are far more real. I know my future is with girls, and I identify as a lesbian. I've come out to a couple of close friends, but I'm scared to death at coming out to my family! Coming out will be AWKWARD as hell. My father lives in China with my Chinese stepmum, and she is pretty clueless about gays. She once said 'Oh, there aren't any gays in China'. She's a lovely lady, but has no concept of what gay is, just because of her culture. Also, my dad is just as socially awkward as me and when I tell him, it will be over Skype. (I don't speak enough Chinese to tell her properly.) I can predict the awkwardness... Or should I just send an email? And at home, my mum and I are total strangers because I had an abusive childhood with her- to the point where I had depression for years and tried to kill myself twice- and she didn't even notice. I don't bother her and she doesn't bother me. If I waltz in going 'I've got something important to tell you', not only will it be out of character for me, but my mum will not take me seriously. Not out of malice, but out of fear. She shuts out things she does not understand (me included), so I worry about explaining to her when I myself am feeling so anxious. I've never had a girlfriend, and unfortunately I was brilliant at pretending I was attracted to guys my whole teenage life. Any advice on how I should come out? I seem to have rambled on a bit. Sorry. :eusa_doh: Thank you so much!
Well, i may not be able to provide you with enough support on this topic, because i have a very accepting family. Well... maybe just my Sister and Mom. But, if you get to the point where you have to tell them, then just do it. I'm sure your Step Mother would be willing to understand, despite her culture, and your father would still love you the way you are. However, It's YOUR decision wether or not to tell your real mother. Hope this helped a teeny bit. :]!~ By the way, i love your username. ~
Hi there, Sorry no real advice. I just wanted to send you some emotional support. I know the weight of needing to talk to someone and not have a receptive audience to talk to. Two bits of thought. 1 If your family is as distant as it sounds in your post do you need them to be included in this part of your life? - I am not saying don't tell them I am asking you what you are looking for from them. Do you think it will ease relationships, make future conversations easier, create better understanding. Could it cause difficulties in your relationships, your home life, etc. If you have uncomfortable, unsupportive relationships already would your life run smoother if you just share this information with close and supportive people instead? and to confuse things more 2. If you have such distant relationships with your family then if they do not take your news well what is really lost? Saying "this is who I am" while knowing that they may not accept you for who you are but taking that chance so that you can live your life your way, openly, without always trying to hide your secret self from discovery. Like I said, no advice. Just things to ponder. Whatever you do, how you chose to do it, I wish you all the luck in the world. I do hope that your fears are false and at least one of your parents is more open-minded than you think. I hope you get the love, respect, acceptance, and support that you deserve.
