I don't know what they'll think. I'm scared that they won't want to be my friends anymore because they'll think that I have a crush on them, but I do want to tell some of them. I am also afraid that some of my not so trustworthy friends will share it with some other "friends" Any thoughts on what to do?
Hi there! We are all scared as to what will our friends think and we are worried that we will lose them, but most friends will be accepting and supportive. Often they will realize how difficult coming out is. As you still might be trying to figure everything out and coming to terms with your sexual identity,try coming out to more friends that you know you can absolutely trust and know they will not out you. Talk to one friend at a time. Your friends hang out with you and spend time with you because they like you for you. Your sexual orientation does not change that. That said, I am wondering if there might be something else that is holding you back. It is possible that you have reached a certain point where you might not feel as comfortable with more people knowing. Often when we come out to others, we want to have a sense of that we are in control. The more you come out, the feeling of having control over your coming out is becoming weaker and as a result it is holding you back, which might also help to explain the fears that you have. Try to take it slow and follow your instincts.
It was really awkward for me to come out to my friends. Especially since we're a close group and have shared beds spending the night at eachother's houses. I have a problem saying what i want to say verbally, so i wrote one of them a letter. Basically, "your my friend, liking you that way would be gross." She read it, looked at me, smiled, and gave me a hug. We were pretty much sister's in high school. The other two, the topic just came up in conversation. Since the "shock" of it, they've gotten over it and we're still friends. I found it easier to come out to a guy first. Funny...we told eachother the same night... (I love you Dave Dave.). Mostly, follow your own advice. You're dr suess quote on your signature. (I love that man. Genious.) If they love you they won't care about your orientation. Mine didn't. If it bugs them so much they can't take it, well their opinion doesn't matter. I didn't come out to everyone till i was a senior, that way i didn't have to deal with all the crap. Now, I just don't care. Its your life. Not their's. If they don't like who you are, its their problem. Not yours. (&&&)
It'll help if you phrase things a certain way. Just adding a sentence like "I was kind of scared of telling you this, because I was afraid you might read it the wrong way" manages to let them know 1. you're not crushing on them 2. you're a good enough friend to take their feelings into consideration. Lex
It might be a little awkward for a few days, but if they are really your friends that will fizzle. Also, some well placed words during your coming out explaining that you are not attracted to *them* and it doesn't change your relationship at all will be majorly beneficial. Good luck =)
