Sorry to rant on like this, I don't know what I'm asking for by posting this, just need to get it off my chest. Today I was sitting with my group of friends at lunch, and it occured to me, as amazing as they are, I just can't imagine coming out to them. I just feel like I've got this invisible mark on my head or something, and it makes me different. I really do hope that one day I can be completely honest with them, especially seeing this is our last year of school together. The main thing is though that I don't know anyone (in person), that is in my situation, I feel like i need someone that knows what I'm going through. So yeh, they're my problems, thanks for reading.
Hey there, I'm Jon I know exactly how you feel!! I'm with my friends everyday and we laugh all the time and we pretty close, but still, I just can't tell them I'm gay... I sort of zone out sometimes and imagine what would happen if I told them, but just can't. So, it's understandable that you're massively confused... I can't really help because well, I haven't fixed my issue either=$ Hope something good happens=]
I think I know how you're feeling, as I was there just a year ago. The idea of being out to your friends can seem really surreal, because you're normally just a happy family where everyone feels pretty comfortable, right? My advice is when/if you decide you need to let someone in on your secret, do it one on one when you're alone together. It's amazing how much better you feel when there is at least one person who knows with you. When something relating to sexuality is mentioned, you can almost wink at them, and you won't be alone in your thoughts. Being out to one friend makes the idea of being out to all of them a reality. It's a great start.
though i can't say for sure, i think a lot of this may stem from not being completely comfortable with it yourself. i know a year ago i thought i would never tell my best friend, and i never ever thought i would tell my mom. but as i came to accept it the idea seemed less distant, and here i am. i feel like anyone important enough to know, knows. but as for feeling like you're the only one in your situation, you aren't. i was lucky enough to have a gay friend in real life to help, but in the end just know the people in EC are all real people on their computers just like you. most of us are or have been in the situation. so try not to feel too alone?
Yeah, i feel exactly the same way where i just dont feel too comfortable when im with my friends and just want to tell someone how im feeling even if it doesnt make any sense! I think sayitforreals has a point about not being comfortable with yourself first. That is whats going on for me so maybe worth exploring who you are and then worry about the coming out when your ready.
Hi there! Everyone above has given you already great advice. Not being able to envision coming out to your friends, is nothing to worry about. It is a normal part of the coming out experience. It sounds like that you are not ready for it yet. There are probably a few questions or things that you still need to figure out for yourself before you can take the next step, which is okay. Take your time with coming out to others. Don't rush it. As you become more confident about yourself and you have figured things out you will be able to prepare yourself for coming out to your friends. Once you are at this point, try to come out to the friends that you trust and you know will be accepting and supportive first. Like this you are also starting to build up a support network that can consist of friends, EC, GLBT groups, etc..., which is important. If you can, and as the above poster has mentioned, try joining a GLBT group which will allow you to talk to others in person about their experiences and will help you to understand yourself better. You will be able to relate to them. Also, try your school. Have a look if your school has GLBT group. That might be an option too.
Yes - just give yourself some time. There's no need to rush into anything. Highschool can be pretty brutal in terms of what other people say about you and do behind your back. Maybe waiting until college / university would be better. It's generally a more liberal / accepting culture there, and you're more likely to meet other people that ARE in the same boat. Good luck!
I am definitely right in that boat with you, as it sounds like a lot of ECers are. My advice would be to give it time, there is no rush or necessity to come out just because you feel you ought to. If you don't feel like you can do it and don't feel like you really need to right now, that's perfectly fine. Don't sweat it. If you do feel a burning urge to come out to them, then go ahead with it. But when you do just make sure that you are in a one on one situation, preferably on neutral ground, where they can feel comfortable asking you questions. Do you know how they feel about homosexuality? You could try just casually bringing up the subject in talking about current events or movies or something just to feel out their reaction. It is a tough situation, but I do hope you can find a solution that you can be happy with =)
Thanks everyone for the advice. .Honestly I think most of them would be ok with it, the girls would be for sure I think, most of my group is guys though. I think most of them would be ok with it, one of them has another gay friend who is out and they're close friends, but there's one in particular I think would have a very big problem with it. On more than one occasion he's expressed how much he hates homosexuality, which is so wierd, cos when it comes to everything else he's a cool guy. Plus me and him are having our (18th) birthday together next weekend, not that I'd be planning to say anything in the next week, but it still hurts to think that someone I'm so close with could suddenly hate me if i told him the truth.
its really hard, i agree, im just in highschool, and the only people who know im gay are 5 yaoi fans who live on the other side of the country..... it scares me badly.... the way society portrays it... i want to come out... but i just cant...... Sorry i cant help.... but good luck however/whenever you come out
I've decided that I want to go to a support/youth group, cos i really think i need to meet people who are going through the same thing. does anyone know any in Melbourne?
