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Is now the right time?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Najlen, May 30, 2014.

  1. Najlen

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    I am thinking about coming out to a friend, she is pretty religious, and while she claims she is ok with LGBTQ people, I know she believes its a sin and is therefore still a homophobe. Whenever I bring up LGBTQ issues, she gets really uncomfortable. I know what people say about how if your friends don't accept you, they aren't really your friends, but I don't believe that. I think that in the end, things would be ok, and I don't want to feel like I'm hiding, but at the same time, if I'm wrong, I don't want to change our friendship. I think that no matter what, our relationship will change in some way. I am already out to one of our closest mutual friends, and I think its only a matter of time before she lets it slip. I would prefer that she hears it from me. So, what do you guys think? is it worth it to come out to her now, if ever? I am as sure as I can be about who I am, and I don't want to hide, but I live in a conservative rural area and most of my friends are at least slightly homophobic. The friend I want to tell is fairly likely to tell at least one other person before I can ask her not to. This other person is not really someone I want to know just yet. Thanks.
     
    #1 Najlen, May 30, 2014
    Last edited: May 30, 2014
  2. WriterGoddess

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    Ah, religion. It's complicated no matter how you scoop it out.

    Is it possible to tell her with that mutual friend around? Maybe that'll help. If not, then maybe you can tell her in private. I would add that you're telling her because you trust her, and then ask her not to tell anybody else.

    That's all I've got, unfortunately. Like I said, religion is finicky, but hopefully if you remain honest with her, she'll accept you.
     
  3. Najlen

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    Thanks. I had planned to pass a note to her in Bio, its the only class we have together. She sits right behind me and the person I don't want to know yet sits right behind her. I would ask her in the note not to pass it back, but she may not read the whole thing. Telling her with the mutual friend around is a good idea, though. I may try that.
     
  4. shortie

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    Are you guys close? If you aren't, is there any point in telling her? If you don't know her too well as a person, for all you know she could out you to everyone. :frowning2: But if you guys are close, maybe you could casually mention it when you're hanging out with a mutual friend when you aren't at school like it was said earlier?
     
  5. Najlen

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    We are very close, we have about a thousand inside jokes, and I know certain things about her that no one else at our school does. I think she's trustworthy. I would do it outside school, but we mostly see each other at school so that could be difficult. Thanks.
     
  6. Jay47

    Jay47 Guest

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

    I'll just leave that here.