So as you can see on my profile thing, I’m not out to anyone outside the internet yet. The most important person I have to tell is my mum (no contact with my father and my mum raises me alone). I have about -100 reasons to think she wouldn’t be accepting of me if I came out to her – she’s known lots of gay people, isn’t against gay marriage, basically it’s a non-issue for her, I don’t think she cares even a bit if someone’s straight or not. She even has books about LGBT matters that she must have bought when she was young – she reads VERY widely and is interested in a lot of things, lol. The feminism section in her book collection is even bigger. She SO would have had a social justice blog on Tumblr if she’d been born a few decades later... I looked the other day and she owns a book called “A Study On Bisexuality”. Not even kidding. I also think she’d be trustworthy if I told her. But for whatever reason, I just don’t feel comfortable with coming out to her quite yet. Problem is, the thought of coming out to her preoccupies me sometimes. I’ve had dreams about coming out, and it often runs through my mind when I’m not concentrating on anything – I imagine dialogues of how it could go and things. So basically, it’s bugging me. In fact right now I’m on a 2 hour trip in the car and I started thinking about it, so I decided to start writing this post to vent a bit. How do I get this out of my head without, you know, actually biting the bullet and doing it?? UPDATE: I wrote this post a few hours ago and now I'm going to publish it and just now my mum started watching a mini-series she got from the library on DVD based on real life about a bisexual woman and her affairs with women during her marriage to a bisexual man. Laughing too hard.
Ever thought that your mom HERSELF might be bisexual...it honestly sounds like she IS?! She sounds like she must be somewhere on the LGBT spectrum. Why else would she have such an interest?
take the time you need If you don't feel ready too then don't. I think you are super safe if you do though. Your mother seems to be very accepting and open minded. I would like to say I kind o understand how you feel. I am not ready either. I think i want to first write down what i want to tell them. I think a good way to to feel ready is to prepare yourself. I might want to write them a letter... I don't know all this jet.. I recommend reading and seeing some coming out stories. Maby ask some people you know how they came out. at least these are things that help me. Good luck with your coming out! I hope i can stay updated on what happens ---------- Post added 31st May 2014 at 12:28 PM ---------- because straight people can have an interest and care about LGBT isssues too?!?!?!
Really don't think so, I'd be shocked if she was! Just had a little think about it and nothing that she or any of her long-time friends have said about her and her past makes me suspect that way. Most likely she's just a very open-minded person and she's a lot more knowledgeable about LGBT things than average and I'm grateful for that. ---------- Post added 31st May 2014 at 08:54 PM ---------- Yeah, when I come out to her I might find it easier to put it down in writing, announcing it verbally might be a bit too stressful for me haha. I've read so many coming out stories by now, mainly on this site! I don't post much but I spend so much time on here, almost too much... I just saw this is my 4th most visited site or something. Don't personally know many people I can ask how they came out though. Sidenote - Mum just mentioned that she owns the book that the mini-series is based off and it's right at home. Maybe it would be an interesting read, heh. Sidenote 2 - Just today, I was in the car with her and I saw this car with the license plate "I *heart* MIKE" and I was like "They better keep loving Mike otherwise it's going to be a bit awkward...". Then a minute later we were just about to pass the car and Mum was like "look and see who's in there!" I saw a guy driving and there was another guy in the passenger seat, I thought he might have been older, not sure, so I was like "There were two guys and one of them might have been older, maybe that was Mike and his dad." then she was like "Well maybe it was Mike and his boyfriend!". Yeah, she's cool.
sounds great, good luck I wanted to add. Yes you can be straight and care about LGBT issues a lot. My best friend is a cis girl and before I came out to myself she was even more informed about trans issues than me. I alwasy talked openly to her about how I feel. and I am out to her. All this to say that there is no need to identify with a specific thing to care about it.
Based on what you have told us, I can't imagine for one moment that you Mum would be anything other than accepting and understanding. Now, that doesn't make it easier for you, but I'm sure most of us would like to understand why you have that lingering worry about coming out to her. Can you try to explain?
I don't really know, I don't have any logical concern. Just you know, it's REALLY important that she accepts me, she's by far the most important person in my life. Also we don't talk about me dating a whole lot, so it's like where do I fit it in. I indirectly brought it up a couple of months ago by mentioning that someone we bumped into that we hadn't seen in a long time asked me if I had a boyfriend while mum was off answering a phone call and she was like "omg no I'd never let you have a boyfriend" hahaha. Though I guess she has said general things like "don't waste your time trying to find someone get on with your life".
