Hello all, I'm a 19 yo male; at Uni and not currently out. Thing is I've identified myself as gay (even though i'd rather not be) and I've trying to get myself out there a bit more and chatting to guys, but at the end of the day it always get me thinking. All my life I've gone to all boys schools, and while the other lads tended to socialise with girls, due to bullying etc I had such little confidence I barely made friends with people from my own school let alone girls from outside. From the ages of around 8 until I started Uni I've never had female friends. It just makes me think, has this affected my development and pushed me towards being gay? I can't remember ever being attracted to girls but I was never really exposed to them, how different could things have been... Am I just being an irrational closet case, would I have known all along if I was straight? Truth be told the thought of having a wife and a family is really inviting to me, but realistically how I feel at the moment I know that will never happen. Should I just take the plunge and come out always thinking I'm somewhat damaged from my environment and that I wasn't born this way?
If all-boys schools turned people gay... there'd be a lot more gay people out there. So no, being at an all-boys school made no difference in your sexual orientation. I think every gay man, early in the process of coming out, goes through a process of wishing for, and mournling the loss of, the "normal" life with wife and kids. I think it's quite safe to say that your environment didn't make you gay, or have any significant influence on your being gay. It seems like you have a clear understanding that you are gay, so the sooner you come out... the sooner you can start living the rest of your life more fully
