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Need serious help here

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by joshy the queen, Jun 1, 2014.

  1. joshy the queen

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    OK yesterday i talked to my sister and her husband and told them that im gay proud and i dont want to change because i love myself and i dont think its wrong
    my family is religious so its hard to convince them anyway my sister kept going about that she cant accept being gay because its wrong and unacceptable and would send me to hell and she doesnt want me to go to hell and such anyway i tried to convince her a lot but she wont listen she told its obvious in the bible that having sex with the same sex is wrong and to would send you to hell and that im sick and i should be cured
    i kept saying that im not and she got so upset she loves me so much and just cant let me go to hell like this she said that those are the word of god not people we dont listen to other people and if god is saying it would send you to hell then why the hell i have to let you go to that path and that if i can fuck a man i can fuck a woman
    and that marrying a man is useless and the family is fucked up because kids need two parents and she asked me if i will ever let my kids that if i had ones of course be gay will i let them go to hell ?
    and that what can i like about a man if everything he has is the same as i do
    and that she will tell my family and she wants to take to a doctor to cure me from this sickness and that she wont talk to me anymore unless i admit to myself that its wrong and its a sin and that to choose is it worth it to lose your family and your god love for such a thing ? and that i cant live in here marrying another man if the law itself dont allow this she has so many points i wish i was smart but i wasnt i was some stupid dude who barley knows what he was saying
    those words just killed me i have been crying all night and i cant think of anything but to kill myself and let it go i cant take it anymore if she told my parents i will get kicked out and she know it even though she loves me she just want me to change so that i wont go to hell we both cried but she didnt give up on the idea of changing me
    please i need to convince her im so depressed i can barley write this im crying i cant take it anymore i feel so worthless :icon_sad: i may love myself as a flamboyant gay guy but now i hate myself and i wish im someone else
    :help:
    the thing is please help me to convince her ??????????
     
  2. Peacemaker

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    First of all the Bible is the work of man not god, second of all the bible has many different interpretations so that supposed same sex statement probably is not about gay people going to hell and third of all. dude its YOUR life you should be able to live it despite whoever you might love
     
  3. joshy the queen

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    well thank for your advice but first of all the religion my sister follow is Islam so its by god and most people know that
    second i have no one to turn to and i cant lose my whole family now and i have to at least finish my studies if i have to go out but if my family really saw that i dont want to change i could be send to jail for 3 years by law in here and sometimes put to death so its really a dangerous situation they may love me but they think that i will go to hell and i cant change their mind i need to if i didnt things will be fucked up with me and my life so i dont know how to convince my sister who is the only one who knows now and she is planning on changing me no matter what :icon_sad: please any ideas to change a religious person mind?
     
  4. Peacemaker

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    oh, should have figured you were Muslim lol, ok theres almost no way for you to change her if she tells you that, you live in a very unfriendly environment towards gay people so um, i might suggest leaving, look at this
    Being Gay in Iran by Farhad Dolatizadeh - Seattle Features - The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper
    If you can
     
  5. joshy the queen

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    i know this story but at least his family accepted him unlike mine :dry:
    i cant leave yet where i dont know anyone nor do i have enough money i cant go to anywhere its not like i will find a job just like that and live happily ever after
    its so hard to leave now at least if i can make her accept me and such i can wait till i finish my studies and get some money and get out vanish with no trace
     
  6. Peacemaker

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    oh idt i can be of much help then
     
  7. joshy the queen

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    thank you your a nice man :kiss:
    i wish others can help though :help:
     
  8. literalmerida

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    I can't believe I'm saying this but you should probably LIE. You are in a dangerous situation, so dangerous that your life could be at stake like you had said before. Embracing your sexuality is super good and normal but your health is far more important. Value your safety first, please.
    I think it would be best if you lied to your sister, say that it was just a phase and that you're not gay and keep living that lie until you can get the hell out of there. I know that sounds horrible but again, if she is acting like this- if she tells the wrong person- you could get seriously hurt. Physically hurt.
    Try your best to find people who are willing to help. Have you considered visiting tumblr and explaining your story? If you signal boost it, someone might see it and you could get donations to help get you out of there.
     
  9. Aaron82

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    Be who you are. Don't change anything in spite of himself
     
  10. literalmerida

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    ): But by being himself he is put in a dangerous situation. Being himself comes second to his safety, don't you think? When he can get out of his current environment, then he can be himself. But for now, he needs to value his health and safety, rather than waiting for approval that will seemingly never come.
     
  11. Chip

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    Hi, Joshy.

    Search Youtube for Matthew VInes' video. It's about an hour long, and is a very detailed, scholarly analysis of why the conventional interpretations of the Bible that condemn homosexuality are wrong. He also has a new book, an even better discussion on the topic. He is turning a lot of heads in the Christian world, including a lot of highly-placed religious scholars and church officials.

    Long and short of it is, there are quite a few Christians who are coming to understand that being gay (and engaging in gay relationships) is not the sin that so many think it is. I think if you can get your family to at least be openminded to the possibility, they can change.

    In any case, my experience is that in most cases, even the most conservative, bigoted Christian families end up coming around to a different viewpoint when their family members are involved. It takes time, but it usually happens.
     
  12. joshy the queen

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    first thank you all for being so helpful
    second i might lie until i know that i can get out if something happened and might try convencing my whole family
    but im just torn about what to do i mean i have to put my flame down too if im going to lie confess its a choice and that i was sick
    idk if i can do that i spent years accpting that part of me
    ugh i just hate how unlucky im with coming out
     
  13. greatwhale

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    Your health and your safety come first. If you are in a situation that threatens your life, or could possibly have you kicked out, then, as was suggested above, you may need to keep your orientation quiet until you can leave this situation.

    It is really unfortunate that you are in this trap, I feel for you, but right now, keeping yourself alive and well is just more important.
     
  14. PatrickUK

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    Coming out and being honest is always desirable, but it should never be at the expense of your safety, freedom or life. When you can escape the crazy situation you find yourself in, do it.

    In the meantime, come on here when things are tough and be the person you really want to be. Nobody on here will call you out or judge you for being gay. You need emotional support right now and you will (I hope) find it here in abundance.

    Really feel for you. (*hug*)
     
  15. calgary

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    Hi Joshy
    I feel for you and hope this message finds you safe and sound. I have to agree with people here that your safety must be your priority. Not sure how much longer your studies are but think I would try to smooth things over with your sister and ride it out. Any chance of studying abroad? My main priority would be to start looking at option on get to somewhere were you can live freely. I have no doubt how hard it would be to leave your home country and family. But you have to be safe and doesn't sound like that will happen where you are. Once you are safe you can work on changing your families opinions. It's a big world and exploring it is an amazing adventure. FYI, if you can stomach the cold, Canada has a lot of positives, just saying :wink:
     
  16. everyonesfriend

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    The Bible says that all men are created equal. Most people use this for racial equality but it totally works for lgbt too. You can tell her that she might go to he'll for not accepting lgbt. See how she takes that.

    ---------- Post added 2nd Jun 2014 at 06:21 PM ----------

    Wait nvm wrong religion sorry