Procrastinating or Not Ready to Come Out

It's probably a little different for everyone, but in my opinion, being comfortable with yourself and understanding how you truly feel and then being able to explain that to others is when you're 'ready' to tell others.

I think the environment you're currently in and the one you grew up in would have a large effect on how soon you're ready too.

 

I've always thought those two were sort of linked. If you're so scared that you just keep putting it off, then maybe you're just not ready.

 

When you're ready, there will be no doubt in your mind to do it. For me at this point, it isn't about having the pure absence of doubt or fear and being "totally free", it is having that fear but also looking through it to see how happy you will be on the other side of the closet.

"Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." -John Wayne

I cannot speak for those who actually have gone through with it, but I am getting close and that is how I feel. I just tired of hiding. Jut looking to come free.

 

I agree with Eclectic.

The main reason for not coming out is FEAR (the opposite of love)- whether it be fear of yourself or fear of others and their opinions.
If there was no fear of either, coming out would be either easy or perhaps not even necessary and there would be no need to procrastinate.

Just putting that out there.

Peace be with you.

 

I think what matters is what is the origin of the fear. Is it a nervousness of unknown territory? Is it being scared of being kicked out? Is it fear of losing your job? Different "fears" indicate different levels of readiness. I'm in the process of coming out to most people, and I have found that doing it now, I'm not even that scared as I feel so comfortable with myself. I don't question my sexuality, and the only thing holding me from telling everybody is the repercussions ( my mother's angst, the confusion it will bring the elders in my family, the judgment I will receive from my church). Sometime's you have to take the plunge, but it is best to make sure that the water is not too deep.

 

I think there are two big components to being ready to come out.
1. You are comfortable with yourself to the point where you are fine with it and you can tell someone else.
2. You are in a position where there is either no serious risk of the coming out being unsuccessful or it being unsuccessful will have no major repercussions.
If you accept yourself and coming out will not hurt you financially, etc., then you are ready to come out. I found I was terrified to come out, but I knew I was fine with it and I knew I would be accepted so I just had to get over that bit. So if you are worried, is it a realistic fear or just nerves?

 

I agree that you should only come out when you feel comfortable with who your are. There is no hurry.
I have been going through a lot of emotions these last few months, and I am feeling so much better about myself knowing now what I didn't know or understand years ago.
I came out to my parents in 1985 when I was 20. I have recently realised (by reading posts on this site) that I was not ready to do so at the time. I should have waited.
Things were very different in the 1970s and 1980s. I had low self esteem and huge feelings of guilt. I did not put myself forward as being confident when I told my parents.
There was no internet in those days to be able to understand things fully. I met my fantastic partner 26 years ago and we have been together ever since. It is only recently that I realised how far the world has moved on it that time! Until a few days ago I would never have mentioned my partner in public but I do so quite happily now.
But when you do come out, it is the most wonderful feeling of release. Just do it when you are ready.

 

I agree with above posts come out when you feel ready and comfortable