I have a completely homophobic family so i know that I will have to wait until I can support myself to come out to them, but they all whole-heartedly believe that I am straight. They think that i am straight because I have faked it so they wouldn't judge me or find out. I feel that when i do come out to them that they will try to blow it off or tell me it's just a phase or take me to church to pray the gay away. They have had open conversations with me telling me how gays are born with like a mental defect and that they have to change to stop sinning. I don't know what to do and if they will ever really accept me.
Unfortunately, you're probably right to not want to come out to your parents until you're in a less dependent situation. :/ I know it really sucks being closeted to the people you love most in the world. You just want them to accept you and love you the same. Are there any adults in your life that you fully trust and would come out to? Someone who wouldn't tell your parents but could listen to your concerns and be there to support you. If not, please please please never hesitate to talk to me or anybody on EC. I'll always talk to you. I'm sorry to not have any profound advice. I think you're correct in assuming you shouldn't come out to them. Coming out is always a risk, but it seems like a definite problem if you came out to them.
I am with TJ on this. First and foremost is your safety. If you are in a dependent situation with your folks/family, The truth is you will probably have to continue in the fashion you are now. I suggest though not getting too close to anyone of the opposite sex if you are trying to "fake" it. Ultimately they might get hurt in the process and that isn't fair to them. Perhaps some day you can admit to them about yourself in a fashion where if they opt not to talk to you or be part of your life, you can walk away and have a safe environment to go to. I know that isn't really a profound answer, but baby steps happen at different speeds for different people. (*hug*)
Sometimes somebody who you think is homofobic after coming out is very supportive. It's hard cto find out what happend, but maybe if you tell them they accept you.
You sound as if you are in high school or early on in college. I have been there my friend. I know it is a lonely road. If you go to public school, see if you can talk to a counselor. If not, tell your parents you have some emotional issues you need to work and would like to see a counselor. If they ask why, just say it is personal.
