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timing, timing, timing.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by stormborn, Jun 3, 2014.

  1. stormborn

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    so i have the letter. i think it is as close to perfect as it is going to get. (it's posted on here somewhere -- find it if you like). but i can't seem to find the right time to give it to my parents.

    i'm going to address the letter to my mom and dad, and either give it to one of them or leave it for them (they'd find it right away). i'd rather come out to them first and then my sister later.

    my problems begin with me not knowing exactly how to give it to them. my options sort of boil down to:
    a) wait for my sister to go to bed, and then hand the letter to my mom, ask her to read it and say i'll be in my room. go to my room. wait and see if they come to talk to me. i'd probably make plans to get out of the house the next day.
    b) hand the letter to my mom and go walk my dog or pennyboard for an hour or two. come back and probably hang out in my room the rest of the day.
    c) hand the letter to my mom before i leave to go to a friend's house. go to friends house. come home at night, when it is reasonable for me to go straight to bed in case they don't want to talk.
    d) leave the letter on our kitchen table when my sister is not home. leave the house (probably go to a friend's house). wait for parents to find it and read it. come home late at night or sleep over at friend's house. come home the next day and again, wait for them to start the conversation.
    e) hand the letter to them and sit their as they read it. then immediately discuss (not ideal - i'd rather they have time to talk between each other and then talk to me later)

    my family is extremely busy. we're all home at different times. i'm also a bit stressed, because i start exams next week. we also always eat dinner together, and i'd rather not endure one of those immediately after coming out, hence the leaving after every option.

    this friday might be a good chance because i am going out friday night, then again saturday. except that my mom and sister have plans to go out friday, so my sister would definitely infringe on that. i could also give it before i go out on saturday, but then when i get home i can't immediately go to bed. also, i'm going to a pride parade, so that'd be a bit more than coincidental :lol: i keep putting this off though and i'm just getting tired.

    i don't know. :frowning2: i don't know how to do this, but i'm getting clausterphobic in the closet. timing is so hard.



    (this was very long-winded and scattered and i don't even know if it made any sense, it is late at night and my brain is getting muckier by the minute)
     
  2. Aaron82

    Aaron82 Guest

    You should chose a,b or c option.
     
  3. Hyaline

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    I had considered leaving it under my parents pillows so they would find it when they go to bed. Which was typically long after I headed to bed....

    I ended up leaving my letter on my moms computer in her office (I worked with her). But you could email it to both of them at the same time on your way out the door to school. Giving them time to digest it....

    I think giving them time to talk between them before speaking with you is better than confronting them with it. Unless you do so verbally.
     
  4. stormborn

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    i don't really want to email it to them because they both have busy and stressful jobs, that i don't want to disturb them from... also it seems a little impersonal to me :lol: everyone leaves before me in the morning, and my sister goes with my dad, so before school isn't really an option.

    thanks so much for your guys' responses :slight_smile:
     
  5. metoo

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    I also wrote a letter to my parents about comming out. And the option that I did was basically your option number (d). I think this works well especially if your parents are busy because then they have a lot of time to think about it, and about what they want to say to you. I was actually going to leave for several days. Good Luck, and I hope all goes well.