Ok, so I'm not 100% ready to come out to my parents yet, but being home around them for the summer is stressing me out. And this stress is very negatively effecting me. I'm 99.9% positive that they will be supportive, but i'm just not ready to come out yet. However, the stress of being in the closet is negatively effecting me, and I need to tell them before the stress eats me alive. The stress is probably more rooted in the fact that I'm keeping a secret from them, more than any thing else, but I could really use some support and encouragement. I'm going to try to come out to my mom this afternoon, but I just cant find the courage or the right time to tell her. . . Technically I'm a biromantic lesbian, however for selfish reasons I find it easier to identify just as gay/lesbian. Also, there's still that little nagging voice in the back of my mind with all the "what if's" keeping me from coming out. (what if its just a phase, what if you are a attracted to men, what if . . ., what if . . .) I know I need to ignore these and listen to my heart which tells I am a lesbian, and just go for it, but what if . . . Anyways any words of wisdom or encouragement would much appreciated. Thanks in advance and I'm so glad I found this site (&&&)
I'm actually in the exact same position you are, so you aren't alone here. All I can say is come out when you feel comfortable enough. I haven't come out either, but I plan on it. You have my support
I understand about the what ifs. I may or may not be alone in this, but the more people I tell, the stronger my conviction that I am right about this gets. I am thinking "what if" less and less often. Come out when you are ready. There's no rush.
Did you manage to tell your Mom? Unfortunately you are in a situation with no middle ground. Although you are not ready to come out the strain of being in the closet is too much and it will only get worse. If you don't feel able to come out to them verbally, try writing it in a well worded letter. You get the time to think about everything you want to say and can prepare as many drafts as you want until you are happy with it. In conversation you just have to go with the flow. Coming out is daunting, but for most of us who have done it, it's a huge relief.
No I didn't end up coming out, but i've stopped worrying too much about it and just distracted myself with other things. (I've recently started teaching myself piano so that helps ) I want to wait a bit longer to come out I think, because although I'm positive about my feelings for women, I still cant decipher my feelings for men. And I want to be positive of my identity when I tell my parents. My best friend knows that I'm questioning, and I told him that I'm probably gay and he has been extremely supportive so that definitely helps. Anyways thanks everybody for the support, I really appreciate it (*hug*)
Hi there! Trying not to worry too much about coming out at this stage is good as it will give you the space to figure out all of your feelings/attractions. I'm sure knowing that your friend is supportive will help. Waiting a bit longer sounds like a good plan. You will know when the time is right to come out to your parents. Take your time, there is no rush.
