I'm not sure how to write this. But I'm going to try. I think there's something wrong with me. Very very wrong with me. My friends are the most important thing to me in the whole world, I don't have all that many, and I don't know what I'd do without them. But I'm always worrying that they're sick of me, or cross with me for some reason. A couple of them haven't been online at all for the past few days, so I get terrified that they don't want to talk to me anymore and have blocked me, and I can't stop worrying that my very best friend, and our friend (tomfromeds on EC) are annoyed at me for feeling so ill the day we went to Thorpe Park. Heatqueen will tell you, I get like this really often, and ask her if she's still my friend. If one of my friends gets the slightest bit miffed with me for whatever reason, it just sends me into a complete and total panic, because I'm so very afraid of losing them. They're all I have It's like I have to be constantly reminded that my friends are still my friends, and I just don't understand why it has to be like this.
Yeah i know what you mean... thats why its hard for me to make friends.. I always think when i talk to someone after they'll talk behind my back or they'll think bad of me.. so when people talk to me i just dont talk back much..
Hi there! It is a feeling that I also had quite often. You never want to lose the friends that mean a lot to you. Maybe what would help, try to see it from a different, more positive perspective. A lot of our friends are busy too and doing other things, which might be the reason why they haven't been online as much lately. Try telling yourself, "okay I haven't talked to my friends today, but maybe tomorrow. If I haven't heard from them by next week I'll e-mail them or give them a call to see how they are doing." If you haven't felt good on the day you were supposed to do something together, don't worry about it. They'll understand. Remember that people are your friends because they want to be your friends. They share your interests, they like you for who you are, they enjoy your company. And that will always be that way. I hope this helps!
It's less paranoia than major insecurity, it sounds like. (Of course, paranoia DOES sound cooler...) Do recall that friendships rarely end suddenly for no reason. Either there's an argument/fight, or else two people just slowly drift apart. So if you've talked to them in the last week or two, and not fought, then you can be sure that you're still friends. What's causing the insecurity? Hard to say. What's the solution? Ditto. Do keep examining yourself. Can you find a reason for the insecurity? Did a friendship or other close relationship sometime in your past just suddenly end, with no warning or explanation? Do you believe you may have lost friends in the past out of neglect? Don't know what type of therapy is available to you in Dubai, but you might look into talking to somebody about it. Friends are supposed to be a helpful thing, not a stressful one. Lex
Lex is right you are feeling insecure. You are so terrified of losing your friends that you panic at every little disagreement. Just know that your friends are still your friends and know that if the are worth being friends with then they will remain your friends. Try not to worry so much.
Helen, you're awesome! Now - say that to yourself about 1000 times a day! Eventually, you'll start to recognize in yourself what your friends already do recognize - that you ARE awesome! I don't know why you feel this way, but it really is unwarranted. Try to relax. Try to take a day off the internet once in a while. Let THEM worry that you've blocked them, and then reappear the next day to let them off the hook! You're such a Sweetie! Who wouldn't want to be your friend?!?!?!?!?
I second everything Jim said, I always look forward to your posts cause you have such good "Vibes".:icon_wink Believe in yourself. You are special.
Helen. You are a beautiful, lovely friend, and even though i don't know you in person, I can tell you right now I have never been annoyed at you or wanted to ditch you. In fact, when we first met, I was worried you didn't like me!! It sounds to me like you're just really insecure about losing your friends, don't worry! I and many others are exactly like that too! But I assure you, if you're feeling ill when you go to a theme park, then it's not your fault, and it's no one else's! Your friends probably felt really bad for you. If you don't believe me, well, you're silly, because I'm a lot like you, and I got really really sick on saturday night at my friends house and all my friends wanted was for me to go home to feel better, because I just felt so ill I couldn't do anything!! You are funny and bright and smart and pretty and funky and groovy and you have great friends who see you for you. And that's all you need. One day you'll be able to see yourself as your friends see you: as a great friend and a wonderful person. Much love.
Helen!!! I've told you this a million times and I'll tell you again: I AM YOUR FRIEND!!! OK?!?!?! You know, half the time I'm worried about losing people. You're all I've got in Dubai right now because everyone's leaving for the freakin' UK!! I don't know what I'd do without you, I'd probably go INSANE!!! (*hug*)
Finally, someone who has the same issues as me!! I often worry that my friends are sick of me ... I just keep telling myself that they like me enough to stay, so they must be proper mates. I don't ask if they are still my mates, but I totally get you - you are not alone. Honest!
Just talk to them and ask if everything is ok. They might have other things going on, and if not then you might ask if there was anything that you might have done to upset them. But most likely they have other things going on.
