So its Sunday night. The night he goes out drinking. So he comes in, makes himself a sandwich, then he sits down next to me and says he wants to talk. I straight away knew what about. Anyway, he tells me about new theory of why I think I'm gay. Basically because my friends are mainly girls and I quote "none them fancy me" I'm trying somewhere else. ( mens pants) After a while of him pushing me matter and me not wanting to spam to him about it until he was sober, he sensed that I was gradually getting pissed off. I told him that I know he's only trying to make excuses because he thinks he's failed as a father in bringing up a gay son. I told him there was no need in his excuses as he hasn't failed and I apologised for dissapointing him so much that he has to go to the extent of getting drunk to talk about it. He left saying he was going to bed and that he wanted to talk the tomorrow and finally "you know, if you do think you're gay, then its fine by me" and then he left. I'm not sure what to do. Ive had sex with a girl before but I don't want to tell him ad it will add more doubt. I could just bring a boy home and prove it but that's not my style really. I'm entering my witts end. PFLAGmaterial didn't help. Any suggestions.
ouch. im not going to lie, that really sucks. *hug* ive had people who doubt my bisexuality before, and i just asked them why they thought so. usually it was just "uh..."s and "well"s, very intelegent, so it was pretty easy. but, alas, it seems as though your dad has thought about it a bit. i would suggest getting him to just sit down and listen to you, sober. talk to him about why he thinks its a phase, and why you know it isnt(without say everything). good luck with that and tell us all.
To be completely honest mate it just sounds like he needs some more time, don't purposely smear a lad in his face (and as you said that;s not your style anyways) but just live your life and if you do meet somebody when he will come to accept it. He seems accepting enough even though it might not seem like it at the moment. He just wants what;s best for his son, and he doesn't want to feel like he's failed you. Just give it time, concentrate on your life and I'm sure it will all come together. Oh and when he's drunk, just get in the habit of sending him to bed!!! I do that all the time, nothing more annoying than a drunk dad.. especially when you're sober.
Well the most important thing is that he said its fine with him. He's just having trouble understanding it all. I agree you just need to live your life. He'll eventually understand.
Henson Parents are strange. I think that your dad is going through the stages. Right now he is partly in denial because he doesn't want to believe it is true and I also think he does feel guilty thinking he did something to make you gay or failed you in some way. He did say that if you really are gay that it would be fine with him but you have to remember that parents need time to come to terms with their child being gay. I think he is well on his way to acceptance but patience is what you are going to need while he goes through all the stages. I know it can be hard believe me but give it time. You did say something that probably helped when you said that he didn't fail you as a father. I'm here if you ever need to talk. I am having a hard time with my dad as well.
I thought by the end of it he seemed as cool with it as you could expect him to be. Just let it go. He'll come around. You handled it properly given the circumstances. Good luck!
Just write him a letter, and if he has any questions just write it out. You all can come together and talk about it, when he feels like it's the right time.
