Ok I already feel pathetic for turning to the internet for help but I'm seriously starting to lose my mind, so here goes. My dad is a recovering crackhead who refuses to go to rehab because of his pride. My mother is suicidal and just plain unstable. I'm caught in the middle, trying to raise my four younger siblings while my parents scream at each other and fight. My mental health has started to deteriorate slightly, I had a self destructive nervous breakdown, during which my older brother had to restrain me for my own safety. I've got scars, scabs and bruises all over my chest and arms and I'm desperately trying to stop my self-mutilation habit. So at this point, what can I do to help myself? I really want to run away and just chance it on the streets, but that's probably a bad idea, so anyone have any advice on how I can retain my remaining sanity?
Um. Maybe you should go to therapy or something. Possibly rehab. I'm REALLY sorry life is kicking you and your family around. But you can do a lot for all of them and it starts by making sure you're well. : )
Don't have the money for either, we can barely afford to keep the power on. Besides I don't have the time, I need to find a job.
Then maybe a job would take your mind off things. Find something simple for now that won't be too stressful. And I think there's a topic around here somewhere about stopping self-mutilation.
I'd like to think we're here to help. Your problems are obviously huge and all encompassing, and there's only so much we can do here on this site. We'll do what we can, though. * Do check at the top of this section for the sticky thread about stopping mutilating behavior. There's a lot of good information there. * You need to work on getting yourself out of that environment immediately-if-not-sooner. That means getting a job and moving out. So work on that. * Look online for possible low- to no-cost counseling services. There's usually something available in most towns of decent size. Good luck, and feel free to let us be your support network when you need it. Lex
that's all good advice and all, don't get me wrong I appreciate the support sincerely, but it won't help me. I've already tried moving out but I felt guilty for leaving my little siblings to deal with my parents bullshit by themselves, I have to be here for them. As for the counseling, I live in a trashy ghetto, all the therapists probably sell meth on the side. Plus if I ditch my dads gonna go off snorting coke again and my mom will probably kill herself, which would be bad... kinda.
Well, if your family is in that deep, you're gonna need to something a bit drastic to break the cycle. To wit, call in the authorities. It sounds like your siblings might actually better off in foster homes than in their current home environment. Lex
but then my parents will hate me. And what if my siblings aren't better off? They'll blame me. Then everyone will hate me. Is it really worth the risk, I mean if it is and you honestly think that it's a good idea then I might just do it. Would it be wrong? I mean they created their children, do I really have any right to have them taken away? What if they all go to seperate homes?
How old are you?? Do you go to school? If so find out who the councilor is there an go talk to them, it will cost you nothing. They really can help even if it is just having someone to talk to.
I'm 17 and I'm a high-school dropout, I have no real education, I'm a grade-A loser. So school counselor is a no go.
In your situation, them hating you is not important. They might not want any of that to happen but it is not healthy to continue this way. Your parents need help, your siblings need help and you need help. You understand what is going on better then anyone and you shouldnt have to raise kids in that kind of environment. Just because they created you and your siblings dosent mean that they have the right to control their lives. Parents are supposed to protect and raise their children to make a good life for themselfs. Your Parents arnt in any condition to be raising children, if anything their presence can be harmful as it seems to be to you.
>>>but then my parents will hate me. And what if my siblings aren't better off? They'll blame me. Then everyone will hate me. Think about what you've got right now. You've got two parents who are so dysfunctional that the care of their children is in entirely in the hands of one of their other children. Will they hate you? Probably, at least for a while. The term for what you're doing is "enabling". The reason they can continue living in their current state is because you're there to keep the place from totally falling apart. So, the rationalize, there's no problem, right? They can keep acting this way, because they've been able to up until now. Once you call in the authorities, you've removed that from them. You're making them responsible for the things they do. And yeah, they're going to resent that. Everybody resents it when they're forced to stop hitching a ride for free. But until you do, there's no motivation for them to stop. >>>I mean they created their children, do I really have any right to have them taken away? What if they all go to seperate homes? You have every right to have them taken away. Yes, they created them, but they're no longer caring for them - YOU are. And you obviously have more than you can handle right now. You've got to start worrying about YOUR life, YOUR state of being, YOUR future. You can't do that when you've forced to cover for two parents and raise three children that aren't yours. Will they go to separate homes? Maybe. But consider their home situation now. From the way you describe things, any other spot is going to be a step up. Lex
Hey, I'm Jon=] First, it's not pathetic, we're here to help. Second, the other guys have hit the respective nails on the head, you can't worry about whether your parents will blame you or not, you've got to make sure your siblings are alright!! And you as well!! There'll be time in the future to reconcile with your parents if you want. You should contact the law and get them to intervene!! Just listen to what Lex said, hopefully he's gotten through a lot of the mental blocks stopping you!! I know it's short, but I hope it helps!! I hope everything gets better! (*hug*)
Most places have free counselling. These are usually those that are connected to hospitals in Australia... However we have a free public health system here. No idea where you live though, but I'm sure there'd be a phone line or something with free counselling? Just look in your phone book
There are free counseling lines...look them up online, some are for gay youth (even though this doesn't pertain to your sexual orientation they can probably help talk about your self mutilation, etc.)
Putting your siblings in a foster home may just be the catalyst that your parents need to get their act together. The foster care system does everything they can to place the children back with the parents if they have done the necessary things to get off drugs and get help. I would definitely get the authorities to step in. Good luck! (*hug*)
I've fought and won (so far) against my self-harm addiction. its been 10mo since my last cutting. I know most everybody has said good advice so far but i just want to add that you can talkto me if you want about self-harm. we have a thread for recovery: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4384&highlight=group+addiction+recovery i know it says that it already started but you can post in it. I still update everyone on my recovery month by month. i found it can help if you talk to someone about it. feel free to leave a message on my board. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/member.php?u=686
