Ok so, I'm really worried about this and want to talk about it. So basically I came out to my mom yesterday, and she was fine with it. The problem is, she's kind of pressuring me into telling my dad. Not in a bad way, she understands that it's hard and all. She said that she can't exactly hide it from my dad, and that he would be mad if I told everyone but him. I'm just worried about telling him because for the past two years or so he's been trying to "make me more of a man". I plan to talk to him about it next weekend. I thought maybe I could get my mom to show him the letter I wrote to her about it on Monday. I don't see him at all during the week, so I figured maybe he'd have some time to think about it and to let things sink in. What do you all think? Just thought I'd add, I'm leaving in a month to go to a summer camp that will last 6 weeks. I know this isn't the best time to be coming out, but I just couldn't deal with this anymore. Anyway, what do you guys think about my idea? Should I get my mom to show him the letter, or should I wait until the weekend to bring it up?
If you feel you can't confront your dad and come out, then letting your mom share it, might be the way to go.. The make you more of a man thing is a rite of passage for lots of fathers, so he is likely just doing it out of obligation because he cares about you.. Be brave, but don't be pressured to tell until you are ready....
I really like the idea of a letter followed by a a conversation. It lets everyone get on the same page and deal with some of the emotions. Then can have a conversation not filled with emotions or surprise. I told my mom face to face and she was supportive but kind of said some odd things mostly because she was surprised. After I realized that it wouldn't be fair to hold any of it against her as I had 5 years to prepare for the conversation and she had 3 seconds to come up with a response.
It might even be better to write a new letter specifically for your father. I did this with my parents and it worked out great. Best of luck!
Great! I'm glad you guys liked the idea. I'll try to get my mom to show him the letter on Monday, then, as I have a pro D day, talk to him about it on Friday before he goes to work. Calgary, my mom reacted the same way. I guess they have the right to as, like you said, we've had a lot more time to think about the conversation. ---------- Post added 6th Jun 2014 at 10:04 PM ---------- I might consider that as well, thanks!
Best of luck. I'm sure it will be fine. I think with telling my mom I was super sensitive as well so anything she said I would have had thoughts if there was a second meaning. I know you don't see your dad till Friday but you might want to be prepared for a phone call or he may try to talk with you earlier.
Thanks again for the advice. (*hug*) I also just spent 3 hours making a huge document that has info about transgender people. It also has a basic list of how I want to go about transitioning. This should hopefully help everyone understand a bit better. I'll be sure to update when I talk to my dad. :icon_bigg
