Maybe this belongs in a blog post, but whatever, I'm posting it here. :] If anyone recalls in this thread, I posted about how my mom was freaking out about little unimportant things. Well, that's still on, except now I'm going away to school in three weeks. I want to be in a good place with her when I leave, and the way she does that is by spending time with people. However, right now, many of my friends are going off to college, and I really want to spend time with them, since I may not see them for a few years. Two years ago when my first college friends started leaving, I didn't see them enough before they left and now I deeply regret it. ... I think I want to be outed. I mean, I guess this is fairly normal, because we all want to be out but don't want to actually have to say the words or go through the hassle (I'm prepared for the hassle, I just don't want to be the bearer of "bad news"). But my parents in will probably never say the words "Are you gay?" to any of their children. So it's not getting any easier that way, which is why I'm considering having a friend spread a rumor that will get back to my parents and force them to ask me. What do our EC moms think about that? In the same thread I linked to above I mentioned that my trans friend was going to be starting hormone therapy. Her mom has had severe mental illness lately (chronic depression leading to self mutilation, suicide attempts, etc...) and so the doctors ordered a controlled mindwipe for her. She forgot that her birth-son is actually her daughter, and she didn't take my friend's second coming out that well. So the hormone therapy is off until they can sort things out. This has lead to my friend's depression as well, and she's considered running away from home. I'm trying to help with that before I leave for school as well, but I'm not quite sure what to do, as it's a very complicated situation. However, I did persuade her to start seeing a psychologist as well as her usual gender therapist. I'm really worried about my first auditions at school in a couple weeks for orchestra placement. Everyone tells me I'm really great at oboe but somehow I've never believed them, and hence I'm extremely nervous about the upcoming audition. I don't think I ever learned how to practice correctly, and I know that this school is supposed to help us learn all that, but sometimes I almost feel sick with anxeity because I'm so afraid that everyone will be so much better than me. There's only 500 students at this school, and 250 of them are there for music, with 12 or 13 oboists besides me, so the competition is not light at all. _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ there's my rant, make of it whatever you wish.
I think, that if you love the oboe, you should practice and play the oboe a whole lot in the next couple of weeks. A lot of your future seems to depend on that. Your friend's situation will resolve itself somehow,she's lucky to have such a good friend. Your coming out is something I can't say much about.I'll let the wiser guides and mums handle that. Just try to keep your life as simple as possible.
I think spreading a rumor so it will get back to your parents is a really bad idea. This is going to leave them feeling like they weren't important enough for you to share the news. If you don't feel like direct contact then write them a letter and then discuss it with them. Have PFLAG materials ready to give them and answer all their questions honestly.
As far as the oboe, practice practice practice. Don't doubt yourself, don't force yourself into it for six hours a day, just every day spend a few minutes with your instrument. as far as your friend, all you can do is keep loving and supporting her. She has time, so holding off on the hormone therapies will not ruin her life forever. It is very very good that she is seeing a therapist. And finally your parents. Listen to Becky, don't start a rumor. If you do that, regardless of how they manage the gay thing, they will be very hurt and feel very shut out of your life, which could have some annoying repercussions for you in the future. Writing a letter is a great alternative if you don't want to just come out and tell them (which is very hard, given) and having some PFLAG stuff around should be very helpful. Best of luck =)
OK, I don't think I can give much advice for most things but there is one part that I might be able to give a little bit of help with. First things first, when I was playing baritone horn, a lot of people told me I was really good. To be really honest, I don't know if I was good or not because I had no one to compare myself with so I just took it as a compliment. I never had to do any auditions but I had to do my fair share of solo assessments and I always got so nervous (and made lots of mistakes!). If you do make a mistake, don't let it show and keep on playing. Make sure you concentrate on the music you are playing and not on anything else. I may not have played an oboe, or any other woodwind instruments, but playing brass does mean I can give you a little advice about practice, although some of it may be a little obvious to you. First off, there is no right or wrong way to practice. There are, however, some things that are not a good idea when it comes to practice. For example, don't practice lying down on your bed or across the couch. You don't perform lying down, plus you don't get as much air into your lungs (trust me - when you play low brass like I did, you need all the air you can get). It's also probably not a very good idea to play with your music laying flat on a table or something like that either because you don't play looking at the ground either. In other words, practice either standing up or sitting down on a chair (not a sofa chair or recliner) and use a music stand. Now I have given my lecture about how to practice, I will start on what to practice. Start with some sort of warm-up exercises. I don't know about woodwind, but for brass it was very important to warm up properly. Is there some sort of book of exercises that you woodwind players have, like what trumpet players have with Arban's? Run through a few of those, or some scales, arpeggios, etc. using different techniques of note playing (again, my lack of w/w experience is showing through. Try some staccato or slurring [if you guys do that]). After doing some of those technical exercises, you can start playing any relevant pieces of music. If you find yourself making too many mistakes, stop playing that piece and try something else. If you find you are not in time, get a metronome. My last tip for practice is don't spend hours upon hours practicing. Obivously spending 10 minutes once a week practicing is not going to be anywhere near enough, but you will more than likely screw yourself if you practice for 3 hours 4 times a day everyday too (I know it's exaggerated but you know what I mean). I suggest practicing everyday, for a minimum of 30 minutes (in this situation I would suggest an hour of practice). Finally, don't worry about everyone else who is auditioning. Chances are most of the other oboists are also feeling the exact same way as you are. As long as you perform to the best of your abilities that is all that matters. I don't know if you will get anything out of that, but I hope you do. I wish you all the very best of luck with your audition. I'm sure you will be great. If you want any other advice, just PM me or whatever.