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How do I deal with the guilt of not coming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by trauma, Jun 7, 2014.

  1. trauma

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    I am probably gay though currently in a bi-curious mode. So far I have disclosed about myself to two people- one being a friend and the other a family member, and both were supportive. But I still haven't come out to the wider social circle at large. I believe there might be rumours about me floating around but generally people consider me as a detached sort of a person as I have never been in a relationship. A little odd it seems for a 25 year old guy..

    There are times when I want to come out to more people but then I get cautious.. Honestly some of them out there might not be well-wishers and they might take advantage of that knowledge. Moreover career wise I have been fairly successful and so I don't want to take a chance. But still I wish I hadd more freedom to express myself. When people ask "Have you ever loved someone?", my answer is "No though I wish I could open my heart and talk about my dreams and desires.. There is guilt but also fear of not coming out!
     
  2. Zannan

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    Just know you don't have to come out. It's no one else's business, you're not lying to anyone. You don't have to come out. Just remember there's nothing to feel guilty about.
     
  3. Yossarian

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    "How do I deal with the guilt of not coming out?"

    Best answer is "come out". But, if you aren't going to do it, then just forget about it; there is no crime in not coming out. You are guilty of nothing.
     
  4. spockbach

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    Couldn't have said it better myself.
     
  5. Melanie

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    You dont have to do anything. Its no ones business unless you choose to make it so.
     
  6. JStevens96

    JStevens96 Guest

    Thought I was the only one in this situation.
     
  7. trauma

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    Precisely.. Many thanks for sharing your thoughts!!
     
  8. QueerTransEnby

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    If you are young(in high school), I can't blame you. In college(especially if you live in a dorm away from parents), it is a great time to come out.
     
  9. Gaysibling

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    You will know when the time feels right for you. Everybody is different, but the great thing is that it's not a contest.

    You don't have to come out to everyone at once. You've already come out to two more people than I had at your age, so give yourself some credit for having made a start . In general, where personal safety is not an issue, I think it's ideal to be out....but that's solely based on my own experience. The decision is yours to make....in some situations/with some people you may feel relaxed and ready, in other situations/with different people the idea of coming out may just feel wrong. Guilt shouldn't come in to it.