I don't know if I am gay. I know that the thought of being with a man intimately scares the hell out of me, and has no (or very little) appeal. The complicated part is that I don't know if this is because I'm gay or because I'm afraid of men because of abuse I went through as a child (from 3 or 4 yrs old to 12 yrs old). The thing is, I have never found men attractive in the same way I have women. I just don't know if this is because of what happened to me as a child since even my earliest memories I was being abused. I don't know if that makes sense, but I told my therapist about it. She's the only one who knows that I'm "questioning". Do y'all think I should come out now or just wait and see?:bang:
Wait and see. I know I'm having gender ID issues but there is to much to wade through first to be sure. You have abuse as one thing, I have male posturing to get over. I'm not ready to say either way what I am. For me I need more time. Maybe you just need time to X)
I agree with Unkempt Harold, a wait and see approach seems to be a good one here. Just know this, there is nothing wrong with being unsure, and anyone trying to force you to "pick a side," is either doesn't care about you or is just ignorant of your personal feelings. You just need to do what you think is right, and let everything else fall into place from there. I say this because sometimes we put artificial constraints on ourselves (and feel that other people may be doing the same), and, in most cases, they really aren't there. It's perfectly fine to be unsure, and take a wait and see approach.
Thank you! I am/was feeling pressured (by myself as no one else knows) to "pick a team" like you said. I am just going to keep working with my therapist on the other issues and wait and see what happens. At this point I'm not at a place where I could have a relationship with anyone (intimate relationship I mean, I have friends)
You have no requirement to come out, you owe it to nobody except yourself, if it's what you want. I don't know too much about the psychology of recovering from abuse, but I don't think anyone reputable thinks it can turn you gay; instead I imagine it provides one more motivation to explore alternative attractions, if those exist, thus making it easier to recognize them. In any case it's something you don't have to decide right now; take your time and work with your therapist. Coming out before you're ready can have negative effects on your ability to work through your feelings; once other peoples' reactions are involved it's harder to unravel things in your head.
Don't feel pressured to come out, only when you feel comfortable. If your not sure then wait and see.
