So everyone I work with and my friends (excluding a couple old ones back home whom I never see or talk to) I'm out to. I feel it's unlikely that I will ever move back home as I work abroad and travel a lot. My question is do you think closure would help? Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Well think of it like this. Are you ever likely to introduce a guy you are dating to any member of your family?
Hi there! Well, how do you feel about your parents/family not knowing this part of yourself? Even though the chances of you moving back home are not high, but I would imagine that you speak with your family from time to time, and there probably will come a time where you would want share with them that you have found someone to share your life with. What are the reasons for not wanting to say anything?
ElliaOtaku I have not considered this yet, you bring up a good point. I suppose one day it would be nice to bring him back. Mirko I've always told myself that it didn't matter, that I'm independent and didn't need their help or support. I talk to my mother several times a year and some of my relatives once every one or two years. My mother and I don't get along at all and I just never see anyone else.
I'm sorry to read that you have hardly any contact with your family and I can see as to why it is on your mind. Being independent, and not needing their support is fine, but it sounds like that you do want some form a relationship with them. Saying, there is something to that. Even though you don't get along with your mom, could it be that a part of you would like to change that, and be able to share part of you life with her, and the rest of the family?
Yes that does sound nice, maybe next time I'm home I'll talk to her. Or maybe write a letter, that's something I've considered before.
It really depends on why you seek closure. What are you trying to accomplish by doing this? I saw your comment about wanting to maybe take someone home at some point. Those are the questions that make it reasonable to assume that you'd want to maintain a relationship with your family, even if it is a distant one. Our family's acceptance is something we crave. Even in families that are disconnected and dysfunctional. A huge part of who we are is based on our experiences with them. So even if it is just a nod from your past saying they approve, accept, understand, or even the opposite of those can be a huge burden that is lifted. The burden of having a secret that you never shared. I wouldn't say "closure" is the right word....Maybe "disclosure" is a better one?
