my best friend is having a little trouble accepting who he is, and as his best friend i want him to be comfortable with who he is. First off, i'm straight. He has came to me before and told me about his previous sexual experience with guys. He is a horn dog. He has slept with over 40 women and is constantly craving sex. But sometimes, a woman cannot satisfy his sexual cravings so he has admitted to me that he has been with a guy multiple multiple times and even a transgender. He claims that he is not bisexual, or gay, but he is in fact straight. But lately he has seemed confused and is having a hard time "getting it up" for his woman. he was sad and depressed and was drinking last night and started telling my friends and i about his gay experiences but still admitted that he is "straight". how can i help him? i want him to accept who he is and to know that nobody is going to judge him. i honestly believe he would be happier if he accepted himself and tried being with a man instead of being troubled. Any advice?
If he is feeling sad and depressed (for whatever reason) that could have an impact on his libido. Feeling low affects us in many ways, including our sexual performance. Labels are labels, nothing more. Some people are happy to call themselves straight, some are happy to be gay, others bi, but there are multiple definitions and labels in between and you'll come across some on here. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what we call ourselves and it only adds to confusion and stress if we try to put ourselves in a box and fix our sexuality when we're not ready to do so. As a friend, you just need to reassure him and let him be who and what he wants to be. If he says he is straight (even with some gay experiences) that's his choice and his right and it's not for anyone else to argue. He's not the first straight guy to have same sex experiences and he certainly won't be the last. Just be open minded and prepared for the possibility of him coming out in future as bi or gay.. or maybe something else.
Tell him that he shouldn't worry about labels. And don't give him any labels that he doesn't want. If he wants to be called straight, then let him. He's depressing himself because you guys are "trying to get him to accept who he is". If he's asking for help, then help him. But if he isn't, then don't pressure him. Let him accept, or not accept at his own pace. It's like trying to make a queer person "accept who they really are" by trying to tell them they are straight. His sex life is his business. If he chooses to share that with you, then respect him when he claims to be a certain orientation.
