after i talked to my dad and brother and told them im bi and i have a boyfriend the began searching everything about him.. his past his history with the police, drugs, arrests etc... found out he was arrested for drug dealing when he was young and found out more about drugs and drugs >< my brother came to me and asked me if i knew and i told him that yes of course. he then told me father is eager to talk to me but only if i start the conversation and the involved my big sister :tantrum::tantrum::tantrum::tantrum: who suddenly judged me for no good reason that im stupid because i said i trust him.... this guy saved me from being raped by somene who invited me to a trip of 3 day weekend. as i told him he called me (for the first time) and said : abort! dont do it!! at least not yet!! believe someone who ate shit in his life. and so i did. i cancled the trip and since then the dude never spoke to me again. (the trip dude not the boyfriend dude) im truly lost. i maybe only have met him once and we kissed and ***:***:*** but i feel a connection with him. im not trying to convince myself in anything but... i really dont know.... would like a nutral opinion. tell me everything you think that might happen. every scenario that could occur so i can think about this thoroughly. maybe i should take a step and talk to my family to let me be? i need my privacy and i need to make my choices.. even if i choose wrong it will only teach me for next time. its my life and damn it i feel like my mommy is taking my hand the whole time......... pride parade in 3 days!!!!!!!
Hey touliatos, You may be annoyed at all the attention and judgment falling on you, but you also need to appreciate how much your family cares about you and how much they want to keep you safe. Yes you need to learn how to make choices, and to learn from your mistakes, but sometimes these mistakes can be very serious. Be careful, stay away from guys who are 3 or more years older than you. You are at an age that could be vulnerable, be safe always!
How long have your parents and siblings been heckling you about this guy? While I agree with you that it's annoying, depending on how long they've been telling you about this stuff, it may just be a normal family thing. They care about you, and they don't want you to end up with a bad guy; no family member wants their child/sibling to end up with a bad person. If they heckle you for more than a week or two, I'd have a sit-down with them and seriously talk to them about how you feel about this guy. Like greatwhale said - appreciate that they're very caring. They only want the best for you, and you being gay already worries them enough because of the hardships that you can possibly face in life. I think he's 18.
yes greatwhale and TJ i do know my family is only doing this because they care about me. but the way my sister behaved when i told her is not caring at all. in fact it was very offending that she cant understand me and the way i feel. that is a behaviour i feared the most... how can they say they want my best if they dont truly try and understand? so he was arrest for selling and dealing drugs and??? at least he is true with me that he uses and used them. im sure he isnt selling anymore. again the guy is my age. he is september and im february. he is going to study soo in a university. he doesnt seems like any harm to anyone. so why so many red alerts around him
If he is still using drugs (you said he is), your parents will definitely be worried about you spending time with him. They could be worried he's a bad influence, or he wouldn't be a good potential partner for you. Drugs are bad news. They don't need to be an immediate end to a relationship, but they're definitely a red flag. If your sister has not accepted you yet, don't listen to what she says. Everyone reacts to you coming out in their own way, and she may take longer or take more effort to convince. Have you tried talking to her specifically about your sexuality and explaining your side of the story? It sounds like she just said something rude and you two didn't talk anymore after that.
TJ yes i know.. about the red flag and all..... he made all the warnings to stop me from trying but i think im influencing him more to stop even touching that stuff and he doesnt do drugs every other day... when a friends of his comes to him and forgets a bit he smokes it right away. he is not addicted and i dont see anything bad in it. about my sis i know she cares about me and she is trying to accept it but she is doing it the wrong way. i didnt react to her afterwards cause i thought she isnt ready yet. i will try and take a step and try and talk to her with about the situation. if after that she will still wont understand i will have to wait for it to sink in and she will come to me when she realises. thank you tj for your help. you made my mind a bit more calm. feeling peacful again.
