Theres this really great guy his names Shay and hes really romantic and funny, caring, kind and everything you would want in someone and 2 weeks ago he said he wants to date me and then i got an email this morning saying '' a few things happend since we last chatted and ive decided that i shouldnt be in a relationship at this moment'' and i just emailed him back cause i dunno what time he finishes work and i asked him what were the few things that happened that changed things in 2 weeks. Im really starting to think its just me cause in the past 2 years things have fucked up with 4 guys, the first 2 they chose their jobs over me, the last one his ex wanted to be fuck buddies but he didnt know what he wanted and now this and i sometimes look over at the empty part of my bed and i think '' is it always going to be empty?' Its really hard cause i really dont know what to do anymore, Shay is everything ive ever wanted and it feels like im here runing towards him but hes getting further and further away.
I'm sorry to hear that. It's hard when someone doesn't want to be in a relationship when you're so head over heels about them. The only positive thing is that you come out of this as a stronger person. I hope you feel better. Sorry I wasn't more help.
OKay first thing. The two who chose their jobs over you? They're so not worth your time, so don't even bother thinking about them. Same goes for the guy who was selfish enough to want a fuck buddy without considering how you feel about it. Just put the three of them out of your head. Now. This guy, you can't really do much about it, except ask for his honesty and if he's not willing to give it to you, then put him out of your head. It is NOT your fault, and this guy sounds like an idiot for jerking you around so much. It could be because he is confused or because he has problems at home but whatever the reason is, it's not your fault. The bed will not always be empty. You're what...19? That means you have like...the next 50 years to find someone! you have plenty of time to find someone who you love and care about and who loves and respects you and cares about you. You might be feeling alone now but you're not. We're all here for you
4 different guys... that were special enough that you'd have spent the rest of your life with... and you're only 19?!? That says a couple of things to me. 1) Those relationships weren't meant to be. After the first one, the second one came along. And the third, and the fourth. And from each one I'm sure you've learned something and becoming more prepared to recognize "THE ONE". 2) Perhaps you ARE getting too attached to these people too soon, and expecting too much from a relationship at your age. I have to disagree with Tess on people choosing their jobs over you. At your age, it would be short sighted for people to choose a relationship over an important career decision. One of those people took a job in the US while you're in Australia, right? It's not like they're working an extra shift at McDonalds and therefore ignoring you. They're taking advantage of a significant opportunity. So... If you're recognizing a pattern in your life, it likely DOES have something to do with you. Not that you're a bad person. Just that you're setting expectations for yourself and others that are somewhat unrealistic. Having a partner to share your bed with at the age of 19 might be one of those unrealistic expectations. Tell this last guy "OK - no problem. No need to 'go out' together. But if you'd like to go to a movie some time, give me a call! Take care." And leave it at that. Maybe he has a gay friend that you'd like even better. So don't burn bridges, don't beat yourself up, and don't get too serious, too fast!
