First off I'd like to thank everyone that gave me advice in the last thread I posted, especially Lexington. I really don't know what to do, I can't even talk to my parents anymore. I hate them, they ruined my life. Before any of you think I'm just being melodramatic read this: I had a job at Dominos pizza for a while, I worked my ass off and begged the owner of the store to give me more hours so I could make some more money, but I wasn't making the money for me. I earned $3,012.78 during my employment there, I ended up getting about $120 out of that. All the money was going to my father, he told me he needed it to pay for bills and groceries and such. Well shortly after I quit, my dad got arrested. My mom told me it was for driving with a suspended license and no insurance. Come to find out, he got arrested for possesion of prescription drugs WITHOUT a perscription, possession of a gram of cocaine and breaking into someone's house. I immediately hated my father for what he had done, it didn't take too long to realise where all the money I had given him had been going to. Then I started to really hate my mom for lying to me, I couldn't believe what they had done. A few mental breakdowns later I was really really screwed up, I went to stay with a friend for a few weeks but came back because I knew my parents needed me. Fast forward a bit to a visit from my aunt and little cousin the day before my birthday, I had hoped that my birthday would be a reason for my parents to stop fighting for at least a little while, just long enough for me to enjoy having family visiting. The day after my birthday my parents are screaming at each other, my dad says he's just gonna go smoke crack and my mom starts screaming at him. I go into my room and start slashing myself with my knife, my older brother has to restrain me to keep me from killing myself. The day after my dad calls me and promises me he's gonna go to rehab and him and my mom are gonna get marriage counseling. He has not gone to rehab, he is never going to. They are not getting marriage counseling, they never will. My father broke every promise he made to me. My mother made only one promise, that she'd keep getting up every morning and do her best to make everything better. Then she tried to KILL HERSELF right in front of ME. If it weren't for my dad she'd be dead, but I can't help but think he didn't do it for her but for himself. Both of my parents are fucking slimebags and I hate them, I really wish they'd both just die. I wish they never would have met, I wish they never would have created me. I really wish I hadn't lived in the first place, I'm too much of a pussy to actually go through with suicide so I just have to suffer through this shit. So I have to ask for an honest answer, is there really any hope for me? Can I pick up the pieces and carry on? Or will I just sit in my room alone listening to death metal until I finally crack and slash my wrists? Would getting out of this house really help me? Maybe it's already too late, maybe I've lost my mind and I can't be helped. Should I have come back from my friends place? Her dad told me I shouldn't but I didn't listen to him. Should I have? Is all this really my fault? Maybe I could have done something earlier to prevent all this.
None of its you fault, we can't pick our family, and im sorry to hear what you've gone through. First of getting out of the house and being active will most definately help. The less your mind has to think of the worse, so keep youself busy. Perhaps moving to your friends would be wise for a while. Give you time to set your self striaght and set your priorities. How old are you exactly? Can your older brother help you in anyway? Obviously he'll be going through a similar thing. Is he the same? You's can always rely on each other when yous are in need. There's always EC Good Luck,
Heretic, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Please, please don't blame yourself for any problems that your parents have. How can you change the fact that your father is/has abused drugs or that the two of them fight? You can't force them to make the right choices. Also, let me stress that your life is worth MORE THAN ANYTHING in the world. People don't realize what a pointless, selfish act this is. There is no problem that I know of that doesn't have a solution, that can't be fixed. I don't know how old you are, but this isn't a healthy environment to live in. If you can't make it through the day without considering death a better alternative then yes, you NEED to get out. If things were better at your friend's house then I think you should ask if they'd still welcome you back. If that isn't an option, talk to someone, a teacher, counselor, anyone with connections, for an idea of where to turn for shelter. You need to get into counseling to resolve the issues you're having. It isn't normal to wish harm on yourself or others, and you definitely shouldn't try to battle this on your own. When you're out of the house, safe, and confident, I'd try talking to your parents. Explain what you're thinking and feeling. TRY to show them that they need help too. Just please don't give up. You CAN get through this and have a normal, happy life. Of course it won't be easy but never forget that you aren't alone. Join support groups, keep your friends close, and, if nothing else, know that we here at EC won't turn away from you. If you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to PM me and I'll do everything I can.
Dear Heretic, There's lots of hope for you.You can carry on .None of this is your fault.. You've proven you have determination by working and generating all that money. There's programs like Al Anon and Al Ateen that can help you deal with addictive home situations. There's many wise people here in EC that can help you through this. Welcome to EC. Hang in there. I think you're a winner.
Sorry you're having to go through that shit. Remember - when you're at rock bottom, the only way is up. Things will get better. (*hug*) I don't know how old you are but is there a way of breaking away from your family and living independently?? Or at least going to live with another relative??
ok to answer a few questions: -I'm 17. -I can't go back to live with my friend because her drug addled homophobe brother wants to kill me. -I have no other relatives near me. I'm really up against the wall on this one.
Hmm where are you?? Are you old enough to be legally emancipated?? Or is that not an option?? If not, IDK sorry...
Hmm.. i dont think imancipation would do much to be fair The only thing i can suggest is to STAY PRO ACTIVE... Dont let yourself get down. Look on the bright side of life (Monty python was a genius). Just tell them how you feel. But dont sit down and talk TELL THEM. Tell them straight how you feel and what you want them to do. Set them goals and push them to do it. Set goals for yourself so you can get out of the house and move out. Luck,
ok, at 17 you have more options to work with without as much hassle, or at least in the usa. emancipation isnt really that important at this point. i stand by what i said before though, if life is that difficult at home then you need to get out of that negative environment to get a clear view and start to repair the damage. you CAN do this. id look for a safe place to stay, whether it be another friend's, a shelter, or even an apartment if you can work to pay for it. also, and this is just my opinion so no offense to henson, but i think its more important to get help for yourself and probably your mother before you work at getting your parents to understand and work at getting better. you do need to stay positive, there are so many resources out there if you know where to look. best of luck, chris
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. NONE OF IT IS YOUR FAULT! Your parents really have failed you. The frustrating thing for you to remember is that they haven't done it on purpose. Nobody sets out to make their kids' lives miserable. They've done the best that they could with the resources they had available to them. It's just unfortunate that those resources, in the situation that they found themselves in, weren't enough. Your dad has a problem with drugs. Don't ever expect him to get better. Then if he does, which will take time, it will be a bonus for you. Addiction is a monster that many people never escape from. Your mom has had to deal with more than she is capable of - apparently. Attempting to take her life in front of her children is just horrifying, and you sholdn't ever be exposed to that - ever. But, these things are your reality. And it really sucks. And it probably seems hopeless. But it really isn't. You have a LONG life ahead of you, and while the next few months / years while you get your own life started might be horrible at home, there WILL be a life afterwards! And it will be better. If will be a life that you build for yourself. If it really is that horrible, perhaps you're a candidate for foster care. That would only buy you another year though, and at that point you'd really be on your own. Someone your age shouldn't have to make these kids of decisions, but they may be necessary for your own safety. Good luck. And stick around here. It might be the only 'happy place' you have for a while.
There's plenty of hope for you. I'd venture to say your prognosis is actually fairly good. But you've gotta start taking steps to keep it that way. First off... Get out. Anyway you can. Get out. This environment is horrible, it's toxic, and it'll continue poisioning you every week, day, hour that you remain in there. You've said that your parents "need you", but it appears they need you only as a source of income, someone to yell at, and someone to manipulate. If you can find a friends' house to stay at for the time being, wonderful. But: 1. Keep it VERY temporary. While staying there, do your utmost to find your own place. 2. While there, you have to be the perfect kid. Do NOT take your anger at your parents out on your friend and his/her parents, no matter how tempting. Stay quiet. Don't hog the TVs, the internet connections, what have you. Each time you eat, clean up everything. Do your own laundry at a time when the washing machine and dryer aren't being used, and put your clothes away. This family is doing you a nice turn, and it's only fair to do one back by making your presence as inobtrusive as possible. If you (still) have a job, work as many hours as you can. Not only will you make some money to help yourself out, but you'll spend less time at home. Good luck, man. We'll get you through this. Lex
Of course there's hope for you. There always is. Help always comes to those who ask for it and this site was a good start. Think of the situation as one of those "life tests" that you must overcome. I think that once you've gotten out of this predicament, you will be a stronger person because of it. None of this is your fault at all. I think getting out would be a good idea even if its just for the time being. I wish you the best of luck.
