For the last year and a half or so, I've been in love with the most wonderful person i could ever ask to meet. He is so loving and sweet, and I love him more than i ever thought possible. Every day it seems like our relationship deepens and we get closer. Everything is perfect, or should be anyway. My problem is that out of the blue, something in me has been making me feel like i should break up with him. I can't stand even the thought of it and i've tried to push it out of my mind, but it keeps coming back. I don't want to end it. I love him so very much. He's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me and i want to spend the rest of my life with him. I can't understand why my gut is telling me to end it. I want to ignore it becuase i fear if i follow my instinct, I'll be making the biggest mistake of my life. But then again, I've always been told to follow my instinct. I don't know what i should do. He is so much a part of me that i think if i ended it, it would kill me. I wouldn't even be able to be myself. I know he feels the same. I know exactly how he'd be if it ended. We're both convinced that we're meant to be together, all our friends think so too. So why am i feeling this way? What should i do? :tears:
From the little you have said here it sounds to me as if there is a part of you that is scared of this very fusionel relationship. You shouldn't always follow your instincts, you do need to look for the psychological reason which is pushing you in this direction. Sometimes a deep seated feeling of insecurity can make us believe that we are not good enough, that we don't deserve this happiness. You need to spend some time asking yourself questions about what you want from your life, where you want to be going and wether there is a place for this man in you future. If he fits in with what you want then just relax, don't look for problems that don't exist. Most people would die for a relationship like you have discribed, just enjoy!
Well, it sounds to me like you need to take some long walks (or something to that effect) and do a bit of soul searching. Most likely the reason you are feeling like you should end it is that you are afraid. Maybe you're afraid that one day it will end anyway and you will be hurt, maybe you're afraid that being in such a serious relationship at 18 will effect your future experiences, maybe you are going through other issues regarding your future plans (I am currently watching this happen to my older brother, who is your age) which is making you question your relationship. You have to get to the root of your doubt before you can figure out why you are feeling this way. Take some time, look into your heart and think it over. If you are really struggling to trace these feelings, you could try seeing a therapist who can help you get down to the real issues. I wish you the best of luck ♥
Sometimes our minds lead to irrational thoughts if we're having a homone or chemical imbalance. Maybe you should chart your thoughts and see if maybe they are coming at a time right before your menstrual cycle.
It sounds to me that maybe you're just afraid of things being "too perfect". Like you think that you aren't good enough to have such a good relationship, and that something has to give because you don't deserve it. Don't let your insecurity ruin it for you-find a way to get over it and enjoy it! You DO deserve it, you ARE good enough, and things will be fine. (*hug*)
Instinct is fine if it's based on something. For instance, if you thought you should break up with your guy because you had some evidence he might be cheating on you, or that he wasn't what he said he was. But it seems your instinct has no basis. You have no reason to break up with him other than something's tellig you you should. I think the technical term for this is "self-sabotage". I remember back in my music-playing days, every once in a great while, I'd start playing a piece. And I'd surprise myself by playing it extremely well. But as the piece went on, and I kept playing it extremely well, my surprise would turn to nervousness, and then to outright fear. I was BOUND to screw up. I just knew it. And sometimes, I'd deliberately make a mistake just to get that feeling over with. I'd screw up an amazing performance deliberately, rather than wait for (what I thought was) the inevitable moment I screwed it up on accident. This isn't unheard of in relationships, either. I knew a woman who broke up with a "perfect guy" because, well, she felt it was going to happen sooner or later, and she didn't want to wait around for that moment anymore. Perhaps that's what's going on with you, too. You may feel that you're not worthy of this guy, that it's going to eventually end badly when he understands how "unworthy" you are, and you'd rather skip out while he still thinks you're a great person. If this sounds possible, resist. Explain your fear to him - not that you want to break up necessarily, but that you worry about your future, and what might happen. He may be able to reassure you on that front. Lex
Thank you to everyone If you'd seen me today, I was a wreck. Couldn't stop crying. You guys have given me something to think about. I have talked to him about it. Last night we had a conversation from the time he took me home and it continued in text messages. And today we exchanged a few messages and he mostly got really worried. When that happens he usually clams up. But i've done a lot of thinking today, and trying to relax myself. Alot of what Lex and Fiorino said is true. I've always told him that i don't feel like i deserve him. Maybe i freaked myself out and got afriad of things being "too perfect." Alot of it i think is also me being scared about heading to college and all the change that that entails. But again, thank you all. He's not something that i want to lose or could even bear to lose. He's too much a part of me. I don't know if that's bad at my age, but i can't help the way i feel about him. and he feels the same. again, thanks everybody.
