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I'm such a whimp

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sam2, Jun 13, 2014.

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  1. Sam2

    Sam2
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    Hey everyone. havent posted in a while, just been busy. But I just started a new job, and i want to tell the people there that I'm gay, mostly to stop the homophobic slurs tossed around. So i already made friends with 2 of the people there, and they like to say faggot. It's very clear they are not homophobic, one of them called me gay and I said "Yea, but what does that have to do with anything?" so the guy responded "Your full of shit, your not gay"

    I had every intention of just saying that I was, but froze and didn't say anything. I'm in many ways a stereotypical straight person. Im not interested in the gay "life-style" as some call it. just the sex and relationships. I tell myself every day its nothing to be ashamed of, I know it isn't in anyway. But I think deep down I guess I am ashamed of it, for some reason Im not comfortable with telling people. either that or Im a giant pansy :frowning2:

    Did anyone else go thru something like this? the whole knowing you shuldnt be ashamed but were? any advice is appreciated
     
    #1 Sam2, Jun 13, 2014
  2. kyrtap

    kyrtap
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    I believe the feeling of shame comes from growing up in a society full of hatred. Growing up with homophobic family and surrounded by people who are afraid of things they don't understand, there was a time where I felt ashamed of who I was. I guess all of that brainwashed me into believing they were actually right. Now I just want to be happy, I know there is nothing shameful with who I am and I don't let anyone else's opinions influence my life.
     
    #2 kyrtap, Jun 13, 2014
  3. Yossarian

    Yossarian
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    You know you should not be ashamed, so don't be. Whether you are out in general or to specific people is more of a "tactical" decision. You can be unashamed, but realize that you may have to be silent on your sexuality in some locales and in some jobs, otherwise you can set yourself up to be actively discriminated against to your disadvantage. You wouldn't, for example, go into a cowboy bar in Cheyenne on Saturday night and yell "I'm here, I'm queer, deal with it!"

    You have been conditioned to feel shame by all the assholes around you and the bigotry some of them practice. You shouldn't be, even if you selectively decide who to be out to and when. As far as the two twits who are dropping the F****t word around you, you should approach them quietly and individually and tell them that you really are gay, and that them using that word in the workplace makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward, so would they please be a little more considerate. If they don't, then it is time to have a conversation with their supervisor about workplace hostility.
     
    #3 Yossarian, Jun 13, 2014
  4. happydavid

    happydavid
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    :slight_smile:oI haven't come out to a lot of people. You are not a wimp. It's a very hard thing to do
     
    #4 happydavid, Jun 13, 2014
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