Friend forcing me to come out

Don't let her push you into this. Try to tell her how you feel and stand your ground

 

You need to tell her how you feel. You need to tell her to that it takes a lot to come out. Tell her it's a task that takes way more courage that she can ever imagine.

 

yea, don't let anyone pressure you to do anything at all. that includes coming out the closet. your best friend must understand that it should be on your own terms and she should respect that.

 

My two pence, tell your friend that you understand that they think its going to help by making you get on with it (some people think that if you push its going to solve any problem, when in reality, it just makes me less likely to do what they suggest!) BUT that they should be a friend and give you space and time to deal with this on YOUR OWN. You will tell people when you feel the time is right and YOUR ready. Point her in this direction if needs be. Hope everything goes well for you though

 

You should only tell others when YOU are comfortable with it. I have a friend who is not pressuring me but he doesn't feel like it's a big deal. Coming out is hard for some of us and I yes straight people don't really understand how it feels. You need to talk to her and explain that you're simply not ready yet, and that you will tell them when you feel up to it. No one has the right to make you do something you don't want to.

 

Tell her how you feel. Don't be pressured to come out when your not comfortable to. You need to feel comfortable first to come out.

 

Hey, this is happening to me too! You could probably tell her that you don't want to come out just yet, that this is your decision, or something like that. I am really bad at giving advice though, so if that dosn't work I don't know. :icon_bigg

 

Try telling her how you feel. Don't let her, or anyone else for that matter, push you into doing something that you don't feel comfortable in doing. There's nothing wrong with doing this in your own pace. Good Luck!

 

Don't let anyone force you until you are ready. I told my ex-husband and kids, and was not ready to tell my parents. My ex kept pressuring me to tell them because he didn't like lying to them, and he could not understand that coming out is very personal, and is done at your own pace. Instead I was accused of being selfish for making him lie to them. Even when I told him this was why I waited 6 months after I realized I was gay to tell him, because he would pressure me to tell others, he didn't understand, and I was being selfish.
I did tell my parents because I didn't want my kids to feel like they had to avoid speaking to my parents. I wasn't ready to tell them, and I'm still not. They were supportive as I knew they would be, but I also know they are a little disappointed. I told them 3 months ago and I still can't face them. I avoid them like the plague even though they are ok with it.
This is your coming out and no one else's, and don't let anyone take that away from you. It's not being selfish, it's a process, and processes occur over time.

 

Try to let her know how honored she should be that you came out to her first and how difficult it is. She should know how much you must trust her and as such, tell her you trust her to let you come out on your own. Be nice so she doesn't out you herself. I've read so many posts of kids coming out to best friends just to have the friend do the outing. So be nice, tell her how lucky she is that you trust and love her so much to tell her first and hopefully she will honor you back.

 

Yes, I often felt like that! All my friends where pushing me to come out to other friends/family because "they where going to be fine with it". I think most people who have never been in the closet doesn't understand that coming out is about you and not the people you are coming out to.

Dealing with that is difficult, I eventually caved and came out to people before I was ready. And it still bothers me. I don't recent my friends for it because they meant well but I wish I had stood my ground and waited. Coming out ended up not being a relief in many cases and just added to the stress and anxiety.

My advice is don't give in, stand your ground and don't come out until YOU are ready - also explain how you feel to your friend so that she might understand your feelings better.