this isn't actually coming out advice as much as it is please god get my mind off this boy advice, but here I go. one of my guy friends, whom shall go unnamed, has given my head quite the stir, to the point where I'm being comical about it and craving alcohol as liquid courage to get the balls to talk to him. (although I'm not going to resort to that) I met this boy when he transferred to my school from South Africa. him and I became pretty good friends, and at the time I had a girlfriend. About a week of knowing him, I started to have my first true, concious crush on a guy. everything about him seemed to keep me up at night, and still does to this day. a while after knowing him, I told him I was bi, and he took it really bad. it severed our friendship and he cut Off contact for a while. after a few days I told him that I made a mistake and that I was straight, but our friendship was still weakened. over the months we've become better friends than before and now we are pretty good friends, until I sent him this text (after getting a heavy pep talk from my closest friends) ___, I just want you to know that through all the crap that's happened to me, I like boys. I'm proud to say it, and I wouldn't change it for anybody. I know you'll most likely hate me, but i know that god loves me for me, and if you're too blind to see that god spreads love and not hate, then I'm perfectly fine if we aren't friends anymore. he didn't really say wether or not he respected the fact I like guys or wether or not he hated me, so I'm not sure what to think. he blocked my number, so that makes me think he won't want to be friends anymore, but we've also communicated through instsgram since the text, and he didn't avoid talking to me. does anybody have any thoughts or advice on the situation or how I can somehow get this boy out of my head, because no matter what I try, at the end of the night I always go through his instsgram praying that he uploaded a new picture. thank you for reading
Time. ThThat's the best I've learned. If your continuing to be his friend it's almost impossible trust me. The only way is to get a new crush. You can't make a crush they just happen so like I said time. Give it time and you'll find a new crush but will still have the feelings back there that will come out once in a while usually while with him. however if your not friends with him the answer is still time but less. Hang out with friends or other crushes and maybe get busy with something like a job or hobby or school. Nothing gets your mind off stuff like being busy. I hung with other friends, skate boarded more, and started a business. Helped a lot to get my mind of someone but still think bout him from time to time. Sorry maybe I am less experienced but that's all I've found to work the best.
^^^ best advice you'll ever get. It's gonna be hard but life usually is. Good luck and hang in there it will get better trust me.
From my experience there's only three ways to get over an unrequited crush: 1) Someone new will come along and captivate your interest 2) You'll discover things that you dislike about your crush and as a result the attraction will fade 3) Time This is especially unfortunate for me because I tend to develop few crushes but hold on to them for a really long time. In your case, I think you have a chance to expedite the process a bit. If he reacted so poorly when you told him you were bi the first time and then blocked you when he found out you're gay is he really worth the kind of emotional investment required to keep him in your life? He may be attractive and you guys might get along great when he thinks you're someone you're not, but you deserve to be surrounded by people who accept you for you. If you're not able to adjust your perspective, then yeah, keep an open mind for other people you may cross paths with and give it time. There's always a stretch where it feels like the pain you're feeling will never fade, but it will. I promise.
Unrequited love :icon_sad: It's a tough one. A few things that have helped me with heartbreak in the past. * Find distractions (e.g. get lost in a really good book or take up a hobby that you've been putting off for a while or start one of those really long video games) * Intense exercise (cardio works best) * Cry until you can't cry any more * Cold showers * Meet someone new * Relieve the tension in your body regularly (e.g. masturbate more than usual, learn to meditate, take up yoga etc..) * Talk to friends about your feelings - or if you can't, call a LBTIQ telephone counselling service That's about all that I can remember at the moment. Peace be with you and good luck. (*hug*)
No problem! I might be going through a similar thing in the next month or so. Might have to take my own advice haha. Link below. Long story sorry but want people to understand fully. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/140910-i-love-my-straight-best-friend.html
I'd really like to say that I congratulate you on telling him of who you are because it takes great courage to do it. Anyways, on the advice part, 1st of all I don't think it would be healthy to try and search for him on instagram because it kinda doesn't help. Looking through your age and seeing that you're 13 you are still young and there is a lot of time to spend to move on. I know I've read/heard this stupid quote from a comedy but it kinda makes sense, it states "Never say die, tomorrow is another guy" and it is true. I've had a crush on my bestfriend and I really went overboard with it and it just went all over the place but once we got separated in college I've found the peace within me and just started worrying about the different stresses in life. Just to reassure you, you will find and meet new people and make new friends in the future. Maybe you'll find yourself a good looking guy within the lgbt and be friends with him. Idk why I'm saying this but I think my point to add with moving on is being optimistic of the future. Moving on needs time but my main thing I put interest in within moving on is anything but HIM, I'm pretty sure you have hobbies and different likes so as a part of moving on you can be optimistic about those things and distract yourself away from the person. If this post went really overboard its because I'm just stating my thoughs in the moment, hopefully it helped though.
I'll try a lot of these and again, thank you all for the advice and help. i know I am young and that I've still got my entire life ahead of me, and I really needed those tips to help me get back on my feet. so thank you all <3
