Hello, I am a 14 year old guy who has no idea who he is when it comes sexually. I am attracted to men and I regularly (once or twice a day) masturabate to an image of hot guys or hot guys having sex. But, if I see a naked girl, I can barely get aroused. Here's the confusing part: At school, or wherever, if I see a guy, I don't get aroused, but with a girl, I get all tongue twisted and weird and I can't figure out what I'm saying because I think she is pretty or sweet. I don't feel like that with a guy. With a guy, I don't feel nervous because in person I just don't feel like they are any sort of romantic thing for me.... if that makes sense. TO summarize: I like guys sexually, but I like girls 'romantically' (I really don't know...) I would be fine being gay, straight, or bisexual, but I just don't know what I am. I'm not homophobic, and as soon as I know what I am, I'll come out, but... I'm confused. This debate has been going on in my head since I was 11. For a while, I used to be confused by it, and wish that I was attracted to girls, but I just decided that I'll be who I'll be when I am ready to be it. I honestly... Anyways, if you guys can give me any advice on who I am or how to figure it out, please let me know. Thanks!
I still get tongue tied around pretty girls, I don't think it has anything to do with being gay, bi or straight though. They just have a presence and a confidence and a power about them that makes clear thought difficult. Kind of like meeting a celebrity. I've found that working out what you're not helps a lot with finding out what you are. You obviously know you're not straight, try to build a picture in your mind about how you came to that conclusion and reframe it for not being gay or not being bi. Sorry if that's confusing, I don't know how else to explain it. Hope that helps. Peace be with you.
If it helps, I was never nervous around guys either. It's simply that I always had male friends and it was normal to be surrounded by them, so why would I ever feel nervous? It's a bit like when a straight cousin told me he couldn't be in a girls' locker-room for more than a minute before his excitement became apparent and he was shocked that I didn't have such problems in the guys' locker-room. But really, why would I? It's nothing new to me; I'm used to it. And it's not about what you feel about guys in general. It's more about that one guy you can't stop thinking of, you know? As for the girls, you stop being nervous around them when you understand that the air of grandeur around them is artificial
My unsolicited advice...just go with the flow It's okay to not have all the answers. Just be you, and let things be as they are. Things will unfold naturally over time :3
I feel exactly the same way. Sexually I find guys a lot more attractive than girls, but I've fancied girls in the past but no boys. I always think that it's something that will change in the future as a I become more accepting of myself!
To be honest mate, at age 14 your head is going to be all over the place and nothing will make sense, whatever your sexuality. Just relax and do whatever feels natural. If you want to date a girl, date a girl, and the same for guys. It'll all become clear in time!
