This is something I've thought about a few times, I was wondering if grandparents usually take the new better or worse than others? I have no plans to tell all of my family tomorrow or anything like that, but it would be nice if I didn't have to hide from them forever. In my case, I have only known one grandfather my whole life. He's never been big on sharing feelings (or talking much about anything)... his way to show love was always to buy the grandkids stuff (the newest shoes, bicycles, etc). I'm just thinking, he's already 84, would telling him help anything between us? And also the fact that he's from a completely different era, he just might not be able to understand, maybe the less said the better? Thanks as always, Michael
It isn't actually that bad telling older relatives especially grandparents. They aren't your parents and love you in a completely different way. It won't change things between you as much as you might think. At 84 he has alot more to worry about and after you tell him you might not ever hear the topic discussed ever again. My cousin is an open lesbian and when my very conservative grandmother found out she embraced it mainly because of how much she loves her...I'd say go for it whenever you're ready.
Well I can relate to wanting to tell your grandparent(s) that you're gay. I'd like to tell mine... but my parents forbid it... though in the long run that's not going to stop me I'm sure. Anyways, that's not important. I think, if it truly is concerning to you, it might not hurt to even just bring up a topic like gay marriage, etc to see what he thinks about it. But really if your grandpa loves you now, he still will afterwards. Whether or not it'll help anything between you is probably easiest for you to judge. But if you're wanting to be honest with him because that's important to you, then I think it's a good idea to tell him. And if that is the case, let him know that you're telling him you're gay because you don't want to hide things from him.
The thing with older people is they have had more life experiences that help them deal with stuff like this better. They know what its like to lose somebody you love. Probably most of them have known gay people in their lives even though that person was "Aunt Sally and Aunt Mae" who weren't really lesbians they just lived together for 40 years. Everybody knew it, its just nobody talked about it. One of my favorite internet friends is a guy over 80 who has a lesbian granddaughter. He is a huge supporter of GLBT rights. He served in the military and talks all the time about the soldiers he fought beside who were gay. He didn't care. They were people just like he was defending our country. We've also had Grandmas at PFLAG when the parents were freaking out. I would say if you want to do it, then do! Good luck!
I'd like my grandparents to know about how i live my life, but i'm really not sure how they would take it. sometimes i think they would be okay with it, sometimes i think they would hang draw and quarter me for my sexual orientation. It's one of those situations where i just have no idea how to approach, i mean, there's only so many times i can say 'no Nan, i don't have a boyfriend, I'm concentrating on school right now'.
Well, it sounds like your grandparents will be ok with it. I know my (very conservative) grandfather had a tough time accepting it for a few years. He wasn't openly offensive or anything, he was just very very thickly in denial. I think he still is just a little bit, but I was very proud of him when he went up and shook hands with my cousin's boyfriend and talked to him for a little while. He still loves my cousin dearly and he would never turn away from any of us, although he is from another generation where the general attitude is less accepting. He also had some trouble with the fact that no one will carry on his name now (my brother has our Dad's last name and the only other children of his son's are girls) but he got over that fast. If you want to, definitely go for it! It sounds like your grandpa will be better than mine was, and mine was pretty good in the end!
Hmmm... I don't know, I could see it going either way. I know he's not open minded... but I know that things can change when it's someone close to you. For sure, it would never be something he would want to discuss. Recently he and I went on a car trip, 2 hours and we said little more than 2 sentences. But, neither of us have the gift of gab. Guess I'll have to think about it more. Definitely won't tell him before I tell my parents, but in no hurry.
Well it really depends on their believes and kind of life experience but if you want to tell them then tell them and if you decide it's not worth it then that's ok too. It's just a choice you have to make to tell them or not to tell them. Personally I won't be telling my grandmother who is 75 because I know what her beliefs are on the issue and she is my dad's mother and my dad is completely against me being gay so I think that it would hurt my relationship with my grandma and I think my dad and her would gang up on me. Basically I would say if you feel the need to tell them and believe it won't affect your relationship with them then I would go for it. It really is up to you. Good luck!
