So a few weeks ago i posted about how i thought my brother was lying about being gay. Two days ago...hehe it was great...i sat down and to talk to him while he was playing halo 2. (stupid game...i can't do it.) I just jumped right in, not omiting any details, about sex between two guys. (Won't go into exactly what i said) I watched as his face slowly started to look disgusted then finally asked if he would be able to do that with another guy. He was so grossed out and shook his head. He said he could do it with a girl but hot man sex just didn't appeal to him. I backed off and asked if he could even hold hands with a guy and even that gave him the willies. Turns out, I was right. He was straight man pretending to be gay. I mean, I found out and got him to quit lying, but now he's going back to jr hi next week and all those people think he's gay. He's going to have to tell them all he was lying or just keep up the charade. I don't know. Did i go about it the right way, meaning when i got him to say he wasn't gay? Or was that a bit too harsh? Should I of just let him decided on his own? He seems to be pretty closed minded and i think the fact that i'm bi creeps him out. I mean, i told him i identify as bi because i can see myself doing (and have done) things with girls and guys alike. That bugs him i think. Gah. I don't know. Maybe i'm rambling. What do you guys think?
Hes going to decide on his own no matter what you say to him. But interrupting Halo 2(I dont play games)to randomly discuss gay sex with your 14-12 yr old lil' bro isnt going to appeal to anyone. Who wants to discuss even st8 stuff with your older sister?
Bravo! Any person that tries to carry on a charade of something they dislike and never intend to be as a mere popularity stunt deserves to squirm a bit. Maybe some of the comments he will get in the change rooms will open his mind a bit. :badgrin: You did right to find out if he is remotely gay or not - sometimes the sex sounds a little dirty/uncomfortable - but if he can't picture himself holding hands, the jig is up. Continue to take the high road and be a supportive sister.
I think your brother is probably seeking attention. Does your 'bi-ness' dominate household discussions? Maybe he felt he needed to be gay to get any attention. Sounds kinda odd. I'm not sure it's fair to ask someone his age if he can picture having sex with anybody! Guys or girls. So if he thinks he's gay, I'm not sure he needs to prove it.
Doesn't it feel good to call your brother out? But anyway, I don't know about if talking to him about sex was *too* harsh. Even after I started identifying as gay it took me a little while to wrap my head around actually having sex with a woman (given I was 13/14) but the telling part is that he was creeped out by the idea of holding hands with a guy, so he is obviously doing it for attention. As far as his bi-phobia, if it is really bothering you try talking to him about it. Tell him that you can't change it but it really doesn't mean that much about who you are. If it doesn't bother you, let it be. Good luck!
I'm not sure why he lied EthanS. I think it was because he doesn't have that many friends at school and during the musical he noticed that two of the gay guys were really popular. I believe if he thought that if he made people think he was gay, they would like him. And Jim 1454, my "bi-ness" (lol) definately doesn't dominate conversations. Far from it. My mom hates it so if anything is even acknowledged about it she throws a fit. She says i'm going to hell. Fun fun.
You did the right thing. Pretending to be gay just to get attention and be popular is sort of an insult to real gays. That's just my opinion.
I talk about it ALL with my sister. I wouldn't trust anything your brother says about his sexuality right now, if he says he's gay, straight or anywhere in between. If he really is gay, you're not helping anything. If he's not gay remotely, then he's just an ignorant asshole. He'll grow out of that.
Wow yes you did the right thing. I think he did lie for the attention. I don't know why people do that. Hopefully he'll start telling the truth now.
I do not think you can determine by your brother’s answers that he is or is not gay. There was a time in my life when I would have given the same response about sex with a guy (those days are long gone!). He is at a very difficult age right now. It will be up to your brother to decide for himself if he is gay or not, and he should not have to do that with pressure from others, one way or the other. It may be very hard for him to admit to you that he would do those things. It may be hard for him to admit to himself that he would like to do those things. Nobody should pressure him on this issue. I suggest you simply tell him no matter whether he is gay or not, you are his sister and will love and support him.
What you did was fine sometimes the only way to get people to admit things is to shock them into it. But one question why was he pretending he is gay????
How do you know if he was lying in the first place? We are culturally conditioned to be repulsed by same-sex attraction. After initial negative reactions, it's easy to crawl back into the "empty closet."
True... I naturally, after doing it for so long, frown at men kissing... its wierd but ive been conditioned that way.
I would have just let it go until he was back at school.. and then slip someone $20 to "try" and kiss him... pretty sure he would flip out and run away if he was pretending to be gay... ... but I am mean like that
I wouldn't have been able to do that if i'd wanted. I'll be heading off to college this sept. so i wouldn't have had the opportunity to do that.
Hey me too! I've come to terms with it though, and I think I will be very happy there =P I mean, how bad can it be if no one there is afraid to be themselves?
