I really want to come out to my family and my school. You wouldn't believe how many chances and opportunities I have had to come out. As much as I tell myself that I really want to, I can't. I can't do it, I can't bring myself to say it. Does this mean that my time's not here? Has any one gone though this (that's an understatement :lol Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Yep, i think many people have gone through this including myself right now. The best advice i was given was maybe its not the right time. But you will know when it is as it will just feel right.
Maybe it's not your time yet. Perhaps your time is when your desire to be open outweighs your desire to stay in the safety of the closet. You'll be able to tell when the time is right, I think. Just don't rush yourself. Don't feel bad; coming out is often hard work.
Maybe you're not quite ready yet. For me, I thought I felt ready to tell someone a good six months before I was actually ready to say the words. Right now you are nervous, and that is perfectly ok. Don't rush into it, it's a process. It sounds to me like you are not quite as ready as you think. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right and it will take a week to get to that point or maybe it will take a year. But I promise you that when you are ready to tell someone you just know. When you can see the conversation exactly in your head and you have elaborate plans and you are almost mad at yourself every time you see that person and you know they don't know, you'll know you're ready. There's no rush, it's hard work and you have to do it at your own pace.
Hi there! Not being able to tell others, might be a sign that you are not ready yet. You are trying to take a major step. Don't worry. With time you will be able to take that step. Maybe what would help is if you try coming out to a couple of close friends first before coming out to your family. Coming out to friends who you know will be supportive, accepting and that you trust first will give you some confidence. It will also allow you to start building a support network which is important. Your support network can consist of close friends, a GLBT group, EC and others who you think are important. Are you part of a GLBT group? If not, maybe you could look into joining a group say at your school or in your community. The more people you can talk to about your fears and about coming out in general the more comfortable you will become. I hope this helps!
I know how you feel. My two best friends are completely gay friendly (one, her aunt is gay; the other, well I suspect that she is a gay man in a female body!) and they both knew I was gay and I knew that they would have absolutly no problem with me being gay, yet it took me ages to actually tell them. Everytime I opened my mouth... nothing came out. Eventually though, you will be able to tell whoever you want and hopefully you will be happy. =)
Whats probablly happening is that your worried about their reaction. Which is compleatly understandable. What I have to say is that if your parents truly love you, they will accept you for who you are (Most cases). And don't get high strung about it. A day will come, a moment in time, when you will know that that is the time to tell them. I can assure you, your gonna be tence then, but it's all part of the process. On the good side being gay, bi-sexual, lesbian, is slowly turning around into a more common thing and less and less people are looking on them as a mistake in life or a gender confusion. In short form, tell them when you are ready, and be calm about it, it should turn out just fine. And if you need any help we at EC are all here for you. (&&&)
