I am in a divorce situation with my wife. We were married for over 17 years. I was single for a long time and only had a short time girlfriend until I met my wife. I fell in love with her and thought it would be forever. We have teenage kids now. I was always curious about guys and would look at pictures and videos of gay male sex. I never acted on this while I was single only while married did I venture into sex with men. When my online activities were found I explained them away. But then I kept getting found out. I was separated a while and found that I liked being with men. I was so afraid to accept who I was due to the stigma it would have on my wife and kids. I met a wonderful guy and we are very committed. I am very happy when I am with him and my therapist agrees with where I must go. I feel ashamed and guilty with ruining my wife's hopes, dreams and forever after. I have devastated my kids and am fearful for the effect upon the guy I love. He has stood by me and says he is always there for me. I was unhappy for many reasons in my marriage. I was the chef, sitter, maid and handyman. I felt neglected and used. I had no problem with sex. I wanted it all the time but it never happened. I felt angry and frustrated that she would rather sleep or act sick than be with me. When I was caught last with gay porn I went to a sex counselor who said I was a sex addict. I think this might be true. But since finding a wonderful guy I am totally monogamous with him and no desire to stray. I have come to accept that I must be gay. I still look at women that are attractive, but there is no desire to be with them. My soon to be ex is now dealing with my daughter who has declared she is gay. She is verbally abusive toward her and says going to church is sinful as the bible says homosexuality is wrong. I still feel horrible thinking of the pain anguish and hurt I have caused. I never wanted this put upon anyone. It wasn't planned. I had no idea what was inside me or why this came out when it did. The idea that spreads over the Internet is that we plan to hide our orientation and deceive intentionally. That was never what happened. I never intended to destroy lives because I discovered I'm gay or bi. I still care about what happens to my family but her understandable hurt is so deep it prevents any other view. I don't know what to do. I can't fix what's broken. Help!
I can really only offer my sympathy. You could try asking her to go to a few counseling sessions with you to try to get her to understand better, but there's no guarantee she would be willing to go. Your therapist might have some ideas for getting through to her. It sounds like your daughter is not in a good situation. Have you talked to her about all this? It sounds like she could use more support than she is getting from your ex. I'm glad that you have found a man that you love who loves you back. He sounds like an awesome guy.
