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When and to who should I come out??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SantaClaus, Jun 18, 2014.

  1. SantaClaus

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Studying in Czech Republic, originally from ...
    Gender:
    Male
    Hey guys!
    So, I've known for a while that I'm into guys but only recently I've decided to accept and be happy for being the way I am.
    Part of the reason why I'm feeling like this is because I met someone. Things aren't really working out ( :/ ) but the point is that before I met him, I had only been romantically interested in girls and I only thought of guys in a sexual way, and not as in someone I could have a relationship with, but now I feel like that has changed so I think it's time to come out.
    My problem is that I have a lot of friends and familly and some from very different cultural backgrounds..
    I'm studying abroad so I'm a bit lost because I don't know who or when should I talk about it.
    My close friends back home are pretty accepting so I think/hope it won't be a big deal.
    But for my friends here it's a bit complicated.. some of them are arabics and muslims and I've heard them say some pretty homophobic stuff before and then there's my christian friends, from a bible study group I used to go to, and I'm really worried about their reaction as they are very conservative :/
    As for my parents, they're young but they're also a bit conservative regarding some topics, with homossexuality being one of them, and my dad is a bit homophobic, making jokes and stuff like that.. One of my uncles (my mother's brother) is gay/bi, but he never really came out so whenever we talk about it my mother just says he's confused and in addition to that she also works as a nurse so she always tells stories how she only see's gay men being tested for HIV, and she has this idea that the gay life style is only unprotected sex & diseases :/
    I also have a young sister (only 1 year though) and tbh i feel like she'll be the most accepting one.
    So right now, I don't know who should I tell first, or if I should just send them a message or talk about it on skype, or wait till I go back home to tell them.
    I don't want to make a big deal out of it, because I don't think it is.

    I'd appreciate any advices you might have :slight_smile:
     
  2. Csp1993

    Csp1993 Guest

    I would wait until you're back home. You should always come out to the person's face. I would suggest sitting your parents down first and just telling them, "Look, I'm not confused and this is who I am." I would also mention how straight people get STI's just as much as anyone else if it'll help your cause. I'm surprised your mom would say it's strictly a gay thing. Being a nurse, she should know the accurate statistics. Anyway, your uncle may be the absolute perfect place to start. He'll accept it right away. I also suggest coming out to people you know will accept you and coming out to the harder people later. I wish you luck on your studies and on coming out. I now how scary it can be.