...

So, I am currently crushing on a straight girl.
It's horrible.
I want to move on, but I can't. I'm just trying to be her best friend, but I'm failing. I really like her, and my two friends who know I'm lesbian know I like her. I told them I liked her and that's how they found out, because they kept naming guys who they thought I liked until I told them I liked her.
At one point, friend #1 came up to me because my crush, who shall now be known as 'my crush', was apparently annoyed at me because I was too "clingy". Friend #1 said it was kinda like that, but not that exact word.
So I stayed away from her for a bit. I only talked to her when I needed to.
That was back in like... March? Something like that. We're good friends again now, but she has two best friends, and she does kind of ignore me when they're around. When her best friends are away, then she'll hang out with me. I fell like a third wheel when I'm around them, and I try to stay away from her when they're around. Her one friend is kinda rude to me. So I stay away from them.
I want to come out to her, but just not tell her that I like her. I have no idea about her opinion on LGBT.. I want to come out to everyone eventually, but I'm just not ready right yet for all the teasing and bullying that will follow. I tried to talk to my mom about my sexuality, but she dismissed it as a phase. Then she started yelling at me because I dress and act like a guy, and she said that she wanted a little girl, not another little boy, and that I should start acting like a girl. I then proceeded to drop the subject and walk depressingly into my room.
My mom has nothing against gay people, and she said that if she was to get a divorce with my father that she would be a lesbian. But I think the fact that I'm a... soft butch lesbian? I think they call it that. I dress like a guy, I look like a guy, I act like a guy, but I'm a girl? Something like that.
Anyway, I'm just venting, I guess. I'm tired and depressed, and I really need a hug. ;-;

:help:

 

Thanks, Grey Wanderer.

So, last night I found out another person found out. She wouldn't tell me who told her until I confronted her at school and asked her again. I had to ask her about seven times before she said the person that is my crush's best friend told her. So, I have to go back to school tonight so I'll ask my crush's friend. I'm so scared right now.. I don't want this to get out to anymore people right now, because I don't want to be teased any more than I already am, and I really don't want to lose anyone as a friend. But I guess that's life.

 

It's been a while, but everything is a bit better.
Everyone is pretty much leaving me alone with the subject of my sexual orientation, which is good, but I still haven't talked to my crush about anything related to LGBTQ.
-Facepalm-

 

Thanks, ElPanaChevere. ^_^