Im gay and I' thinking of coming out to one of my best friends the only reason why i am holding off from telling him is that every time we talk or hang out he makes gay jokes like, thats so gay, calling people gay as an insult, an dither things in that manner. Do you think I'm over thinking this or am i right to be holding off from telling him? Advice?
Hmmm... You could ask him to stop, tell him that the jokes aren't funny or something, and see how he reacts. If he seems ok about it, it could be safe to tell him. It might be better not to, but it doesn't seem like it would be too bad. I don't know him, though.
A lot of people say "that's so gay" without even thinking about what it means, so even though it's certainly not good that he says that, it doesn't actually mean he won't be accepting of you if you come out to him. If you've heard him say anything genuinely homophobic (i.e. something about not liking gay people or thinking homosexuality is wrong), that is cause for concern, but as long as it's just a habit of using gay as an insult, I wouldn't worry about it. If you do end up coming out to him, that may encourage him to stop using gay as an insult. If he doesn't stop on his own, you should certainly tell him if it bothers you. Good luck
Next time you are alone with him and he makes a gay joke, ask him to please don't do that because it makes you feel bad about being gay yourself. This will put HIM on the defensive about what he said, instead of you on the defensive about being gay.
