Okay, so... I talked to my father about the fact that I had a crush on a girl, he's not really upset with me at all with that, but the problem is that I don't know if he'll understand if I tell him that I'm asexual homoromantic. He's very supportive of me and loves me besides my orientation, I'm just not sure if I should tell him that I don't like girls in a sexual way since it'd be pretty hard to explain that to him. I don't think the fact that he thinks I'm lesbian is a bad thing, it's just that I don't feel ok with identifying myself that way. If a stranger asked me what my sexual orientation is, I'd rather answer asexual than homosexual even if this person doesn't believe that asexual people exist. Say that I'm lesbian just sounds wrong to me. A lesbian is a woman that feels sexual attraction towards other women which is not my case. Should I "come out" to him again? Is he even going to believe that it's possible for asexual people to have a crush?
This is a really good question, I'm not sure if I have a good answer. I find myself in something similar. I have come out to a few good friends and my parents as "gay." But, the reality is that it isn't quite that black and white; I'm not a 6 on the Kinsey Scale. I also feel that I am an asexual romantic, or, at least to this point in my life, I have shown a real uncomfortability with sex. In my case, I reason it this way: I know who I am, and I know that I am not able to be put into a nice, neat little culturally labelled box. However, I also look at it as a "you have to speak to your audience," too, situation. Most people don't know, let alone understand, what asexuality is, or what it entails (I'm not really even sure if I do). Because of this, the vast majority of people you talk to, this will fly over there head and further confuse things. While I'm sure most people are fairly open-minded and willing to try to understand your feelings, I think the last thing to do when "coming out," is to further confuse things, especially if the "coming out" is fairly new news to them. It takes time to digest things. I see your point, though. "Will I feel comfortable just simply labeling myself as a lesbian?" Well, probably not. You need to do what you feel most comfortable with. But, I would just say this, if you "come out" as a lesbian to people, and then if they are interested in hearing or learning more about you, that may be the time to fully explain things. Kind of a progressive explanation over time, rather than a throw everything at people in one sitting. But, I am new to all of this, and know very little. So, I think the biggest thing is to just do what you feel most comfortable doing.
I suspect that if you tell him you are "asexual homoromantic" or "demisexual and autosexual", he will look at you dumbfounded and not have a clue about what you are telling him; I know I wouldn't. Keep it simple and explain to him what you feel about girls, and leave the exotic labels for forums like this.
I'd like to thank you guys for trying to help me. I think I know what I should tell him now about my sexual orientation.
Good luck MYID. It isn't easy helping friends and family understand that you identify as something other than straight.
