I was sitting with my mom and we were watching this show, and it just so happens that this man left his fiancee and completely disappeared on her, only to find out that the reason that he did it was because he was actually a trans woman and she didn't think she could come out without there being some form of hatred thrown at her, so she just left without a trace. And that part pissed off my mom because she felt like that she should have just came out with it and then left, hate or not. And I'm sitting there thinking it's really not that simple. How I would love to just come out to my mom and dad and tell them flat out that yes, I'm genderfluid, I'm pansexual, and I have a girlfriend who I am in love with, but with my mom being the extra religious type that's just simply not going to work. The hate would come. So is it cowardly of me that I just don't really want to tell either of my parents?
It's not cowardly at all. It's being more safe than sorry. I'm of the opinion that you should only come out with you're comfortable, or, as some others have said, when you're most comfortable. Many people never actually feel completely comfortable, and that's alright. But don't come out when you're on the verge of crying, and don't come out when you feel depressed. If they take it badly, it's a very, very dangerous situation to be in. Honestly, I think the only people who can truly understand the fear, insecurity, and uncertainty of coming out are the people who actually feel the need to. It's nothing to boast about, either. It's just a bad, bad feeling, and that's completely OK to feel, because it's completely a logical feeling. There are too many things to consider to simply come out. Yes, some people find coming out easy, but for many, it's very, very difficult, and you are not alone in this.
Absolutely not. You should come out when you're most ready; especially given the circumstances within your family. If you believe that hate is bound to come and it could cause a fair amount of turmoil in your relationship with them, then you should come out when you are prepare to handled the things that could be thrown at you.
Nope, you're not a coward for that at all. I am currently experiencing rejection once again, from my mother (not due to being bi, but something else). I know my sis will side with her against me, and I already feel my bother being cooler with me. It doesn't feel good, I can tell you. Do you need this kind of stress in your life, if it is avoidable stress? Although I think we *ought* to be able to come out to everyone and anyone, life just isn't that fair. If your mum is a religious fanatic you are not going to convince her in any case, it would most likely be a waste of effort and only cause you stress. kind regards bf
