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Coming out via text to best friend - better done briefly or more elaborate?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by IJustWantToLove, Jun 21, 2014.

  1. IJustWantToLove

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    Hey,

    I more or less decided on coming out to my best friend via text message, since everytime I see her in person I chicken out and am not able to say it, even though I think it's a bit weak and unpersonal... and since last night I more or less came out to a guy I barely know I think it is probably time to finally come out to my best friend =/

    But now I don't know what to write. I guess I have two options, sending a short statement or elaborating a bit more? I've come up with this so far:

    Short: "You know the party last night I mentioned? I was dancing with that one guy, a friend of the others, but sort of kept my distance and then later he asked me if I maybe was gay. I didn't know how to answer that 'cause I didn't want to lie..."

    A bit longer: "Hey, there's something on my mind which bothers me for quite some time now and I feel like I have to share it with someone, but everytime we talk I chicken out. But you are my best friend and I trust you and whom can I tell if not you? Honestly, I don't even really know HOW I should say it, because I don't actually know WHAT I should say, since I'm still trying to figure things out. I guess what comes closest would be to say, I think I am not straight?!
    You know the party last night I mentioned? I was dancing with that one guy, a friend of the others, but sort of kept my distance and then later he asked me if I maybe was gay, because apparantly in his opinion I looked somewhat gay. I didn't know how to answer that 'cause I didn't want to lie...
    I'm glad I was able to get this off my chest, but I would appreciate it if that was kept between the two of us for now."

    What do you guys think would be better? Or are both options rubbish?
    Please help :help:
     
  2. JStevens96

    JStevens96 Guest

    I came out to my Dad over text. I really like your long one, I would really go with that, if the person is really trustworthy to you.
     
  3. FireRose2071

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    Coming out through text message isn't a bad thing. If you have a hard time coming out in person, maybe text would be beneficial. The long text seems like a good idea :slight_smile:
     
  4. IJustWantToLove

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    Thanks for your responses =)

    I think I can trust her, she's my best friend after all, and she was really good with secrets so far :wink:

    Or do you think I should write something beforehand like:
    "I can tell you everything, right? Even if it might sound a bit weird to you?"
    Because I honestly have no idea, if she has an idea or if it will totally be out of the blue...
     
  5. AmiBee

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    If it helps you to prepare, go ahead and make a draft of a coming out text to your friend. You know in your heart if she'll be ok with it. Go with your gut.
     
  6. Silver Sparrow

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    I think the long one is better. Do you have character limits to your text messages (when I send long texts, they get broken up and arrive in weird order- I don't want that to happen to you)?
     
  7. IJustWantToLove

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    Silver Sparrow: No, I don't plan on using standard SMS, so number of characters shouldn't be my problem :slight_smile:
     
  8. kyrtap

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    Like others have said there is nothing wrong with using a text, I have only came out to one person in person and dam was that hard, everyone I did it over a txt. I also like the long one. Good luck hope everything goes well.
     
  9. jnr183

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    I think text is fine. I have really only come out in writing first. It's easier to say what you want to say then let them respond. Some say you don't get instant feedback, but I think it allows the recipient some time to process the information, especially if you don't think she will expect it.

    I wish you the best. Good luck!
     
  10. IJustWantToLove

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    I did it, finally pressend the send button. Now it's wait and see...
    Thanks for your responses, I did go with the long one.
     
  11. IJustWantToLove

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    I think I probably have the best friend in the whole world.
    She took it really good and was nothing but supportive =D
     
  12. JStevens96

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    So great to hear!!!! :slight_smile:
     
  13. Vaettfang

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    Congrats!!! :grin: :grin: :grin: