Hello, sorry if I'm not meant to post two similar topics but I posted one and got no replies :l Does coming out really help? At the minute I see no reason to. I don't think I ever will. Opinions?
It depends, really. If you're perfectly OK with people assuming you're straight and no one is pressuring you to get married to a woman or get a girlfriend or something, I don't think you should come out. At the very best, it'll just let you express your sexuality more often, but along with that comes unnecessary consequences that you can do better without. However, if you're not, and if someone is pressuring you, then I think coming out will probably help. Like Peacemaker mentioned, it can make you more comfortable (or uncomfortable, depending on how they take it) and it relieves the pressure of being outed when you, really, really, REALLY don't want to.
Neverout Coming out is definitely the best thing to do, it lifts such a weight off your shoulders. Those feeling of fear and loneliness start to disappear, but... You don't say how old you are, how you feel about yourself or what reaction you may get from friends and family. Being safe is the most important thing. First of all make sure that you are comfortable in yourself. Assuming that you then feel safe to come out, start with a trusted friend or relative. Read up on other advice and stories here, there's plenty of it.
It depends i guess. If you tired of keeping it to yourself (for various reasons) then it would help to come out. But if you don't feel the need to tell anyone then it wouldn't do any good i suppose.
Why wouldn't it? If you're truly of another sexual orientation (not straight), then you need to come out eventually if you want a real relationship.
I'm 20. One of my friends already knows, and another two people who I'm friends with online also know. I'm far from close with my family, and I wouldn't want it to be any other way. I don't have the usual connection most people have with their family, just because they're completely different types of people to me in every way which I like because I dislike the way most of them are. Anyway, I've been to various counsellors and therapists (not relating to sexuality) and I've been on a lot of different medications, all without my family knowing it was happening. I just don't feel that they need to know every aspect of my life. ---------- Post added 22nd Jun 2014 at 11:32 AM ---------- People ask about women but there is no pressure. If someone asks I just say I don't want a girlfriend. My reasons aren't even made up, they're just the reasons that stand out as things that I prefer about guys than girls, I just don't mention I prefer the guy side of it. ---------- Post added 22nd Jun 2014 at 11:57 AM ---------- Admitting to a guy I want to be with definitely. But why to anyone else?
Well i guess it depends on wheter if you are not comfortable with your situation or not. I would always recommend it since that way you don't need to avoid questions, omit information, worry about people "discovering" you. Being open about it can be a very big relief and help to actually form true friendships (If you are open to the beginning people who has soemthing agnist it won't befirend you.... oh yeah, what a loss). The thing is if you are with a guy and he is gay an out, people are going to notice anyway. Otherwise you will need to hide your relationship and that can be really frustrating for your partner and cause mayor problems. Also you will probably do the things all the couples do. If your partner is also not out, it will be more difficult to find him and although you may agree to hide everything, I don't know if I would recommend that to anyone to be honest, you are just denying yourself the possibility of experiencing many things as a couple (Maybe if you live somewhere where is dangerous to be open it makes more sense not to come out, being safe must be the first priority) my two cents
It may sound a cliché but yes it does, even if the initial reactions are bad on the whole it's a good thing for both mind and soul. Continuously pretending to be something your not or having to hide part of your life constantly is not healthy. I speak from experience. Coming out does not mean you have to be loud and proud as some would suggest but simply yourself.
If you feel that you're confident to come out and be resilient enough to face any unwarranted criticism, coming out can help relieve the burden. I've only come out to one friend and the fact that one person knows and accepts it can really make all the difference.
Hi. its only upto you.. if you feel the 'need' to come out you should, actually you will without asking anyone. but right now if you think nobody needs to know or you dont want anyone to know then you shouldn't. it should come from within yourself, coming out may turn out bad if you are not ready for it but the day you know you are ready you'l do it and it'l be all good.
I guess it depends. I never felt the need to come out about my sexuality to my parents, because i feel like they never assumed that have am a certain sexuality. The are not very heteronormative so that is cool. When it comes to my gender. Just letting them know how i feel, was a huge relief for me. Sometimes you just don't feel ready or you don't feel the need to and that is okay.
Sometimes it can help a lot, especially is the first handful of folks you come out to are supportive and open-minded. Then, of course, there are LGBT persons whose lives are severely upset by those who react negatively. Sometimes coming out can make all the difference, and sometimes people choose to just let things happen as they will: I once knew a bisexual woman who explained to me that she disliked the idea of coming out because it seemed to her that bringing up the subject would mean drawing attention to something that shouldn't be judged according to societal or interpersonal standards.
It hasn't made me feel any better. Maybe because I have OCD about my sexual orientation. I constantly question my sexuality no matter what. I sometimes feel like I might be bi or asexual, but I think I'm gay. I usually come out as "not straight" in case I am bi or asexual, but I still feel quite sick when I come out.
Actually one of my very best friends was against it and although I no longer see him now, we ended up closer when he guessed and basically changed his view because of the fact we were already friends. It's actually quite safe here. Pretty much never heard of anything too bad going off. Although I agree it may lower my chances of finding someone which aren't the best chances to begin with... ---------- Post added 23rd Jun 2014 at 10:00 PM ---------- I think this is my favourite answer. I should just wait until it's something I want to do. I see that now. Thanks.
Look at it this way - do straight people shout I'M STRAIGHT! from the rooftops and wave grey flags everywhere?
Yeah completely. I feel so much more comfortable around and closer to people who know than I did before, I just feel more honest and open you know, actually myself basically. There's a million other reasons why it was a good idea for me but basically I am wayy happier than I was before as a result, would recommend!
I found it very helpful. I am so much more confident and happier since I came out. Only a handful of people know and that is okay, but even having that handful has been the most amazing thing in the world
