Does coming out really help?

NeverOut · Jun 21, 2014

Hello, sorry if I'm not meant to post two similar topics but I posted one and got no replies :l
Does coming out really help? At the minute I see no reason to. I don't think I ever will. Opinions?

Nychthemeron · Jun 21, 2014

I think I replied to one of yours?

Nychthemeron said: ↑

Maybe.

Coming out isn't limited to pulling someone over, looking serious, and saying, "I'm gay." You can never say the words "I'm gay" and still come out without talking to anyone about your sexuality.

You can flirt with guys. You can get a boyfriend. You can go to pride events and comment on how hot your waiter is. Eventually, people will get that you aren't straight. I consider this coming out as well, and you didn't have to do anything. You're just being yourself.

Some people use the sit-down-and-talk method because they're pressured to. They can't keep it inside. They feel like they're hiding and lying every time someones says something that goes against their identity. Some people never feel this way, which is good, and yes, they don't have to pull someone over, sit them down, and talk, but they can't avoid coming out unless they deny and suppress their desires/identity.

You said it yourself. Sexuality isn't who you are. You're much more than just a gay man. But, being gay is apart of you, just like how your race is apart of you, and what color hair you have is apart of you, and what you like to eat is apart of you. I don't think anyone comes out because they dislike eating cake, so why should gay people have to come out because they like their own gender?

Although it's a rhetorical question, I'll answer it anyway: it's because of society. They still haven't really accepted homosexuality or anything else LGBT, but I think they will. They have to. So in the future, I think there will soon be no need to come out. At all. Not even indirectly.
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mbanema · Jun 21, 2014

I think it helps tremendously. Even in the absolute worst-case scenario where the people you love react badly, at least you don't have to hide who you really are anymore and can try to embrace that and pursue what makes you happy.

I know I blame pretty much everything negative in my life right now on being closeted, though like you I have a feeling I'll never do anything to change that. I don't see any scenario in which doing so would not result in positive changes for me though.

Does coming out really help?

NeverOut
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Does coming out really help?

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