1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I told my best friend... But now what?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jasonpaul, Jun 22, 2014.

  1. jasonpaul

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2012
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm 22 year old bisexual male. I told my roommate, who is one of my best friends, two days ago that I've been dating a guy in secret for 3 years. He was supportive and gave me some words of advice and then we moved on.


    But I'm still going fucking nuts. Every time I see an attractive woman I re-convince myself I'm straight, even though I'm clearly attracted to men. Also, the thought of telling more people terrifies me to the point that I can't function or think about anything else. My boyfriend is sick of me being closeted so I can't really talk to him about this stuff.... but I'm scared that I'm gonna push my friend away if I keep talking to him about this gay stuff...

    Is asking for more help super annoying? I'm not normally one to ask for help so idk what's normal or not
     
  2. Easton

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2013
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I know exactly what you mean! I was actually about to come on here and start a new thread but I saw yours and I kind of feel like we're in a similar situation. I came out of my best friends (who just so happens to be my ex-gf) about 2 months ago but I haven't been able to tell anyone since. I thought that it would be easier once I told the first person but it seems just as hard if not harder to do it again. My real problem is I'm scared of telling any of my straight male friends. I've wanted to tell one of my male friends who I'm really close with but I feel like guys are going to have more of a stigma about it than girls. I don't want my friend freaking out when I tell him and even if it is kind of irrational, I can't get over it. I kind of do have a crush on this guy that I want to tell but like I know he's straight and everything and I get that it won't happen... it's just that he's really really attractive. I just don't want things to change...

    anyways hopefully we'll both get some suggestions. Congratulations on coming out to your first person and hopefully we'll both be able to keep coming out. (*hug*)
     
  3. ClimbHikeBike

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2014
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    I don't know how much I can help, because I feel similarly to you guys, but here goes: Can you ask those who you've already told to help? Maybe they could be there when you tell others, or see if they could bring it up so you can't get out of saying it?

    Jasonpaul, if your roommate was supportive when you told him, I think you could at least bring it up again and see how it goes. It's helped me so much to have a couple supportive people for encouragement as I tell more.

    I totally feel you on this. In my case I don't think I'm sexually attracted to women, but this still happens to me. You're not alone!