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steps beyond coming out to yourself?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by NeutronStar, Jun 22, 2014.

  1. NeutronStar

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    So I'm in the process of coming out to myself (again) and it's been hard and confusing. I'm fairly lonely and wondering where to go from here? I'm in my mid twenties and I've been in different stages of coming out for many years! I've come out to 1 of my best girl friends a while back, and I've tried dating sites but they kind of freak me out and I end up not fully committing to the conversation or meet ups. So for someone who went through a similar situation, what are some easy steps which may help with coming out to yourself and being more comfortable with being gay and meeting others?
    Thanks in advance!
     
  2. Wolf of The Baltic

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    The first thing is who do find attracted to first? I can't be hard to tell yourself. I know I've been there. What I did is I went and looked in the mirror at myself and told myself I was gay. You should to, it really helps, if you have troubles saying it start thinks more if you truly think this is what you truly want. I hope what I have said was helpful ask thing you need if it wasn't
     
  3. spockbach

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    Read some fiction about gay people. (The "Rainbow Boys" series by Alex Sanchez is a great choice, even if it's about teenagers. I'm a lesbian in my early twenties and thought it was fantastic.)

    Look up some famous gay people on Google.

    Look for local support groups. Do you have some? Not everywhere does, but if they're there, they can help.

    Remember that there are so many other gay people!! Even if you feel alone, you're totally not. I know I feel alone most of the time - but hey, I'm totally not.
     
  4. NeutronStar

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    I did the mirror thing and I've started looking for some movies and books about gay people. There are support groups I think, and I'll work my way up to maybe joining one of those. Thanks to both of you! it was very helpful and good to know that I'm not alone.
     
  5. Radioactive Bi

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    You really need to spend time in self reflection to be as sure as you feel able about how you feel.

    I found that after coming out to myself I was a bit of a nervous wreck and didn't know what to do next. Like most things though, I found this could be remedied with knowledge and experience.

    Knowledge came from scouring the internet for information, articles and experiences similar to what I was going through. The more I found out, the easier it was to understand what I was going through and plan the next steps to take.

    Experience came from trying to get as much contact with LGBT people as I was able (that included this site) or people who know or are related to LGBT people. This helped finding people to relate to and make me feel comfortable with myself.

    From there, I began the process of coming out to the people closest to me which I recently completed. This helped me feel I could truly express myself and feel whole and happy in who I am.

    Anyway, that was my experience. Perhaps you could try something similar if possible.

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
  6. Fandom obsessed

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    I agree with what the others said, read fiction and stories involving gay characters and focusbon how awesome loving yourself for who you are is. I know sometimes it get difficult to feel pride when you feel lonely or haven't dated in a while but focus on loving yourself and it really will make the process alot easier.
     
  7. NeutronStar

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    Thanks you two, some more great advice that I'll be following!

    (*hug*)