When I come out to people I usually come out as "not straight". I don't feel like a "weight has been lifted off my shoulders", I feel a bit sick to my stomach. I don't even come out to homophobic people. I just feel like they're secretly questioning me and thinking that I'm just curious or something. I also feel awkward saying that I like girls for some reason even though it's the exact same thing as saying "not straight."
Unfortunately you can't exactly control what other people think of you. All you can do is be honest with yourself and them and hope for the best. Chances are they're not secretly thinking or saying anything about you or your orientation. Most people don't think that thoroughly about other people. Even if they were secretly thinking something that you don't want them to think, if they're not sharing those thoughts - ultimately, how does it change your life or how you think of yourself? Are the people that you tell really important people in your life? or are you and your welfare really important to them? If yes, surely you can trust that their thoughts about you wouldn't turn into gossip? Sorry, lot of rambling there. Peace! (*hug*)
You don't have to feel happy or joyful when coming out. When I come out it just feels like meh. I don't make a big deal or whatever and neither do they unless they're a douche. It's okay if you don't feel excited.
I avoided stating it explicitly before, but I'll state it now. I didn't feel good after coming out either. I felt sick. Scared. Insecure. Judged. Questioned. Disdained. Even when my mother assured me that she still loved me, I secretly harbored doubt. I can't help but feel that she's ashamed of me, and that she regrets giving birth to me. And that hurts. BUT, it gets better. It's not an immediate effect, but it's an effect. Once you're out, you can be who you are more freely. I still have a lot of trouble bringing up the topic, but at least they know now. It feels like I'm no longer hiding, you know? They still don't view me as who I want to be viewed as, but one step at a time, yeah? (*hug*)
For me, it took a bit before I felt good about coming out. After having to hide something for so long, it takes a while to take down the walls that you have built up. So, right now you are just getting used to somebody know what was your secret before. I found that with time, this feeling became less and less.
This. I remember when I came out to my roommate/best friend at the time, I did not feel good about it afterwards. Eventually, as Brad said, with time that feeling occurred less and less when I came out to people.
It affects me because I have OCD. I constantly doubt my sexuality because of it and when other people doubt it, it makes me doubt it way more. Even if I feel very confident. I avoid coming out just so I can have a few moments of clarity. I sometimes feel proud of myself, but I can never share it because I never know when I'll start to doubt myself again. I also don't see any point in coming out. Part of me wants to, but I just have no reason to come out. I probably won't be in any relationships any time soon and I'm probably not ready for any relationships either. I also have no social life, so there's not much people I come out to.
