The signs

The easy answer? You don't. So don't wait to "pick up" on signals that others might be sending you. Go send some of your own. Find some people who look interesting, and go say hello.

Lex

 

maybe you wont know till they make a first move, cause you wont be paying attention to them unless you see them first. they'll normally come up to you and start a convo though, whisper in you're ear if its in a club, and try and dance with you or buy you a drink. well this has been my experience in regular clubs.
maybe they might stare you down to get you're attention if they are reluctant to make an approach if you're with friends, or to test you're reaction, test the waters. if someone's flirting, my experience is they smile a lot, try and touch you with their hands a lot, and have THAT look in their eyes, the flirty/interested look. and they normally joke a lot too. and try standing, sitting closely to you.

 

Just go up and say.

"get ya coat you've pulled"

aha no dont do that.

If you think someones checking you out just try smiling at them.
If they return go talk to them.

 

That's understandable. But having low self-confidence and not going to talk to people in a bar is an almost surefire way to not have anything happen in a bar.

When we sit by ourselves in that shy, uncomfortable manner (trust me - I've done it, too!), we project a sort of negative vibe. One that says "Don't approach me." Because, to an outsider, it looks like we're putting up walls. Things for them to have to try to break through. And who wants to bother, really? Whereas the people who smile, who seem chatty, are those that others will approach. Those actions say, "Yes, I'd like to talk to you. Please come say hello." And it works even better when they actually DO get up and go talk to others.

As scary as the prospect is, it's actually not as difficult as it seems. A few key things to keep in mind.

* Find your common ground.
* Ask questions.
* Be open and honest.

What's your common ground? You're together in the bar/club. So base your questions on that. "Hi. I've never been here - is it always this packed?" "Hi. That's an interesting drink you're having. Can I ask what it is?" "I'm kinda new at this. I hope it's OK that I came over to say hello."

You'll be surprised how well these things work.

Lex

 

I think that's the best one! HONESTY is the best policy! I mean... what do you have to lose? You arrived alone / without a prospective bf... so what's the harm in smiling at someone and eventually approaching them and saying something like that?!? I think it's brilliant!

 

Everyone makes it sound so easy!! for me, im standing there and in total shock as to whether that sign means what??!!

 

Well - it isn't easy. I've NEVER approached someone in a bar. EVER. I don't think it really happens as often as people think it does.

However, if you want to know how you could or should do it, I think Lex gave some great advice. It's only as you get older that you come to realize that you've been making a much bigger deal of things than you needed to! If you want to talk to someone new in a bar, just talk to them! Don't stew all night about what exactly should be said. Don't stew all night about how them might react. Because if you stew all night about it, that person will leave and you'll never know how things might have turned out.

At the same time, meeting someone shouldn't be the reason for you to go out to a bar or night club. You should go out to have a good time. That might involve chatting with new people. But for some of us, that isn't really our idea of a good time! It's way too stressful. So don't worry about it! Don't plan on talking to new people. Go with friends and just hang out. Have a good time. There might be someone there that sees how much fun you're having, and they'll want to introduce themselves to you! And when they do, give them a big smile and introduce yourself and your friends.