I've recently begun trying to figure out how i feel/my orientation/whatever but i'm feeling overwhelmed my how much i'm actually feeling. does anyone have any advice on how to start sorting thru the things i'm feeling?
Hi there! Feel reassured that all the feelings that you are experiencing are normal and are a part of the processes of trying to figure out as to what is happening. It will take some time to understand it fully, but if you allow yourself to experience all the feelings you will be able to understand them better. Don't be afraid to explore all the feelings that you are experiencing. Sexual identities are fluid and can change over time, so it is likely that you will experience contradictory feelings, which is okay. Over time you will figure out what feels right for you. Follow your instincts and follow whatever feels right for you. It can become overwhelming because we want to know what is happening and we want to figure everything out as soon as possible. Also, while we are trying to figure it all out, we are already thinking at some level what will happen to our future, how will people (friends/family) react and what will they say. When all emotions, feelings and thoughts combine, this is where everything becomes a bit much. I think it is important that you take one thing at a time. First, try to figure out your feelings. Once you have figured it out, you can start thinking about the other steps in your journey. Do take it one day at a time though. Take it slow and take your time in figuring everything out. Take one step at a time. There is no rush. I think what might help you is if you talk to others about your feelings. Talking about our feelings and fears allows us to gain a different perspective on them and we can make better sense of them. Maybe you could try joining a LGBT group in your community. I think it would be good if you would try to connect with some people from the LGBT community to talk about your feelings and fears. Also, talking about your feelings with others, might allow you to become more comfortable about yourself and will help you to gain self acceptance. Joining a LGBT group has also the added benefit that it allows you to start building up a support network from which you can draw comfort and on which you can rely on in the future. Also, stick around here on EC. Read the stories and posts in the various support forums. They will also help you to shed some light as to what is happening within you. I hope this helps a bit!
Sure I can relate... If you're anything like me, you've supressed some pretty serious emotions and thoughts for a long time - either consciously or subconsciously! So when you finally open that closet door, a whole lot of stuff comes rushing at you all at once. Working with a counsellor might be really helpful for you right now. It did with me. But regardless, keep in mind that it took you 23 years to get where you are, you aren't going to change and accept some fundamental things about yourself over night. Take it slow and give yourself permission to feel things and address them over time. Good luck! And welcome to EC!
Breathe. Take a step back. I know exactly where you are: where everything you are starting to find out about yourself starts to compound and pushes you to your breaking point. Relax. This is a slow and strange process and you don't get your answers all at once. I found meditation and lots of exercise helps as it clears your head. People make a fuss over accepting yourself, but before you can do that you have to accept that you're not sure and that's ok. Let yourself feel. Spend a little time with your thoughts, don't worry about anything but what YOU are feeling. I know it seems impossible now, but I promise you that you WILL find the answers you want eventually, and this feeling will not last forever. The thing is, you can't rush it because it just has to untangle over time. Freaking out won't do anything, in fact, freaking out, in general, is typically incredibly unhelpful. I don't know how you handle stress or what kind of person you are. I know I am an exemplary secret keeper and I tend to work through my personal and mental issues on my own (I'm not saying it's healthy... it's just how I am). The first time I went through this, I got through it by talking in an online community not dissimilar to EC (although had I known about EC back then it would have been even better) and working it out in my own head. The second time, I talked to someone I trust. She was great and I know I can talk to her any time, so if you have someone like that in your life (I chose to talk to someone older) try talking to them. Regardless, keep coming back to EC. I can honestly say that without it I would be nowhere near where I am today. Welcome to EC, and stay strong honey. I promise it gets better ♥
My advice it to just sorta take a step back, and don't think about it too much. When I was always going "OMG I think I think s/he's hot.... omg am I gay/bi/straight?!?!" it didn't help me. I just had to be chill about it.
You won't "solve" your sexuality by thinking about it more. It'll just take time and/or experience. Just put it aside for now. If you've gotta label yourself, label yourself "undecided" and come back to it later. Lex
Relax. Don't rush into labeling yourself. If you're attracted to guys, then go with it. If you like girls, that's fine too. Both? Hey, why not? "Love is tender and knows no gender." Don't limit yourself. Take time to form lasting relationships. The important thing is not what category you fall into, but that you find someone you are happy with. Don't overthink the process, love comes naturally.
