Hello, Well, i decided that today would be the day that i would come out to my mother. After sitting there for almost half an hour unable of saying anything she saw that something was up. I always saw my mom as an open person, but her reaction wasn't what i expected. She was not angry or anything, but she didn't believe me. Then she went on to ask how i knew. So i told her: How do you know you're straight. She said she couldn't answer that, but she still didn't believe me. So, any advice on how i could convince her? or should i let it rest for a while?
Let it rest for a while.Dont go onto her she might need some time to accept.Dont try to convince her right away she will think and understand you as time passes.
I think you should let it rest for a short period of time. Give her a few days or a week. It's great that your mom wasn't angry or rude, but she still is experiencing the loss of the perception that her son is straight, and with that comes the five stages of grief/loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She may need some time to digest what you told her, and she may want to ask you some more questions later - how you know, how you feel, how she feels, etc. Congrats on coming out to your mom!! Let us know what happens.
Thanks for the reactions, i'll certainly keep you guys updated. I guess that somehow the 5 stages didn't apply to her. i went subjective when i should have been objective.
He might have meant that he didn't think the five stages would apply to her. Just based on the rest of his message.
I don't think you should try to convince her. Just go with the flow of your life and she will see it happen.
Well she will ultimately come to terms and maybe right now she is questioning but she is simply trying to understand, because she doesn't understand right now, but your mother is simply confused and you have give her time to digest what you told her. hope that helped this is the first thread i post on other then my own
I guess people just express it differently. I agree with everyone about not pressing the topic on her, she needs time to think and cope with the news. Anyway, I'm glad you had the courage and told her even if the response wasn't what you expected, it could have been worse, but it wasn't. As for what to tell her, just wait until she is ready to bring the topic again, and after hearing what she says you can then answer her questions if she haves any. Always be truthful and respectful to her when answering, it really goes a long way when you do that.
I generally agree with those who have posted above in response to your thread, however, if you let this go on too long, it runs the risk of being swept under the carpet. One cannot see something if one doesn't believe it. There could be unicorns and rainbows emanating from your bedroom, but until she believes it, she will not recognize the clues, such as: When was the last time you dated a girl? or Why are you seeing so much of that guy, what's his name...oh yes, Brian?
